When I was making plans to come to South America, from last April (April 2013 for those of you reading this 2027, long after I'm dead) until, well, up until the day I left, and then when I was making further plans in Buenos Aires (and I guess other places?), I never thought I'd hike in Patagonia.* Before this trip, to me Patagonia was a place with like little streams and flowers (I saw like a 2 second clip on The Discovery Channel about it once or something and THAT was the clip: some flowers around a stream. REVEALING.) and, you know, stuff to look at. Okay, I didn't really know what Patagonia was. Or what was there. Or where it was, except south in South America (still guessing). I just thought it was supposed to be some pretty place to go look at and people wanna go to and blah blah blah. I didn't know what you did there.
But I have since learned.
People talked about in hostels in Buenos Aires** and the more I learned, the more I was like "Hey, that wasn't just some bullshit from TDC. It's a thing." As I met and spoke with more travelers, Patagonia was a recurring theme, er, well topic. Theme doesn't make sense here.*** My interest was increasing all the time.
But then came the tipping point (cue dramatic music. And/or lawsuit from Malcolm Gladwell). Really, the flood gates were opened. Other metaphors. I met a group of three American students, studying abroad***** in Santiago, Chile, visiting Buenos Aires. And, I'm not sure when I met them, i.e., I'm not sure if they'd gone to Patagonia by this time, but I stayed in touch with them.
One of these students was (well, is, she's still alive, but for the sake of the past tense (is this the imperfect?) just let me say "was" here) a girl named Paige Rylander. Female, from Texas, like 20 years old******, with a great smile and who is shy for about 10 seconds and then displays a wit as sharp as a...sharp, pointy thing. She is kind and generous with a radiant personality. Everyone (ok, not everyone, smartass) is instantly or shortly thereafter attracted (platonic sense) to her. And she seems to be about as from Texas as I seem to be from Alabama.
I stayed in touch with Paige after our chance/fateful encounter in Buenos Aires. It was mostly via fighting with snarky comments over Facebook, but, still counts. We hadn't spoken for some time (who knows how long) but basically out of nowhere she messaged me and said the next time we spoke (and that I should remind her to tell me), she'd tell me all about how to get to this fabled "Patagonia" and go hiking, step by step, from Santiago to Punta Arenas to Puerto Natales (I swear you have to have a reservation with Bus Sur from the airport in Punta Arenas now) and then to Torres del Paine, including the talk at Erratic Rock/Base Camp. And she came through in fine style. Paige held to her word and laid it out in such a straightforward manner even I could follow it. No "when you come a fork in the road, take it" nonsense.
For posterity's sake, I have formalized and addendumized (yup, it's a word) her Facebook message and encased it in a blog post on, ahem, my blog (winks at camera) as a shrine, a commemoration for all the word to see of Paige's contribution to humanity: How To Hike The W - Straightforward Instructions For Travelers.
But, it didn't stop there. It would be unfair (to whom, I am unsure) to stop the story there. To say this would be only Paige's only contribution to humanity (not that we've seen others AHEM get on it) but also to say that this was her only contribution to my life. Paige has been a really great part of my trip in South America, albeit most of it has been virtually (not like that, you assholes) via Facebook messages. When we are talking about serious things, she always has kind words and advice. When we are not being serious, which is literally all of the time, she is unleashing her pent-up frustrations on me in the form of clever insults and backhanded insults (no, that's not a typo. Backhanded insults. Figure it out.). I do seem to be the target of her barbs, but it's just as well, it means I have someone to send some back to as well. Everyone needs a sparring partner, and Paige readily agreed even though I insisted I already had too many.
Oh, I guess, I should also mention that I visited her and the other girls in Santiago in the first week of December of 2013 and she showed me around and took me to bars and parties and I had an ABSOLUTE BLAST. So thank you, again, for that, O Texan One. For this and all the reasons above, I give you, until someone comes up with something better, the nickname "Locks with Longhorns". It's a Texas reference, ya see, combined with her combative personality.
Everyone raise your glasses. To Paige.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Spoiler alert: GUESS WHAT I DID?!
**Gee, Brennan, some internet research might have served you well here as Patagonia is one of the most-visited places on earth, but hey, Google sure is struggling these days CUZ IT HAS NO INFORMATION. Right? Whatever. Go read The Collective Memory Of Travelers by one Brennan A. Wheeler.
***Sis, you remember that time in the car, we were on the way to school, and Mom was helping Tommy with something, and she goes "Casey, what's a thematic map?" and you deadpanned, "Um, a map with a theme." BAZINGA! I'm sure you weren't trying to be ornery**** but god that was funny.
****I don't know what this word means
*****Juvenile abroad/"a broad" joke
******She was AT LEAST 18, I swear/hope. Also, how old are you, Paige? It doesn't matter. You were in college at the time of this happening. People get the idea.
But I have since learned.
People talked about in hostels in Buenos Aires** and the more I learned, the more I was like "Hey, that wasn't just some bullshit from TDC. It's a thing." As I met and spoke with more travelers, Patagonia was a recurring theme, er, well topic. Theme doesn't make sense here.*** My interest was increasing all the time.
But then came the tipping point (cue dramatic music. And/or lawsuit from Malcolm Gladwell). Really, the flood gates were opened. Other metaphors. I met a group of three American students, studying abroad***** in Santiago, Chile, visiting Buenos Aires. And, I'm not sure when I met them, i.e., I'm not sure if they'd gone to Patagonia by this time, but I stayed in touch with them.
One of these students was (well, is, she's still alive, but for the sake of the past tense (is this the imperfect?) just let me say "was" here) a girl named Paige Rylander. Female, from Texas, like 20 years old******, with a great smile and who is shy for about 10 seconds and then displays a wit as sharp as a...sharp, pointy thing. She is kind and generous with a radiant personality. Everyone (ok, not everyone, smartass) is instantly or shortly thereafter attracted (platonic sense) to her. And she seems to be about as from Texas as I seem to be from Alabama.
I stayed in touch with Paige after our chance/fateful encounter in Buenos Aires. It was mostly via fighting with snarky comments over Facebook, but, still counts. We hadn't spoken for some time (who knows how long) but basically out of nowhere she messaged me and said the next time we spoke (and that I should remind her to tell me), she'd tell me all about how to get to this fabled "Patagonia" and go hiking, step by step, from Santiago to Punta Arenas to Puerto Natales (I swear you have to have a reservation with Bus Sur from the airport in Punta Arenas now) and then to Torres del Paine, including the talk at Erratic Rock/Base Camp. And she came through in fine style. Paige held to her word and laid it out in such a straightforward manner even I could follow it. No "when you come a fork in the road, take it" nonsense.
For posterity's sake, I have formalized and addendumized (yup, it's a word) her Facebook message and encased it in a blog post on, ahem, my blog (winks at camera) as a shrine, a commemoration for all the word to see of Paige's contribution to humanity: How To Hike The W - Straightforward Instructions For Travelers.
But, it didn't stop there. It would be unfair (to whom, I am unsure) to stop the story there. To say this would be only Paige's only contribution to humanity (not that we've seen others AHEM get on it) but also to say that this was her only contribution to my life. Paige has been a really great part of my trip in South America, albeit most of it has been virtually (not like that, you assholes) via Facebook messages. When we are talking about serious things, she always has kind words and advice. When we are not being serious, which is literally all of the time, she is unleashing her pent-up frustrations on me in the form of clever insults and backhanded insults (no, that's not a typo. Backhanded insults. Figure it out.). I do seem to be the target of her barbs, but it's just as well, it means I have someone to send some back to as well. Everyone needs a sparring partner, and Paige readily agreed even though I insisted I already had too many.
Oh, I guess, I should also mention that I visited her and the other girls in Santiago in the first week of December of 2013 and she showed me around and took me to bars and parties and I had an ABSOLUTE BLAST. So thank you, again, for that, O Texan One. For this and all the reasons above, I give you, until someone comes up with something better, the nickname "Locks with Longhorns". It's a Texas reference, ya see, combined with her combative personality.
Everyone raise your glasses. To Paige.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Spoiler alert: GUESS WHAT I DID?!
**Gee, Brennan, some internet research might have served you well here as Patagonia is one of the most-visited places on earth, but hey, Google sure is struggling these days CUZ IT HAS NO INFORMATION. Right? Whatever. Go read The Collective Memory Of Travelers by one Brennan A. Wheeler.
***Sis, you remember that time in the car, we were on the way to school, and Mom was helping Tommy with something, and she goes "Casey, what's a thematic map?" and you deadpanned, "Um, a map with a theme." BAZINGA! I'm sure you weren't trying to be ornery**** but god that was funny.
****I don't know what this word means
*****Juvenile abroad/"a broad" joke
******She was AT LEAST 18, I swear/hope. Also, how old are you, Paige? It doesn't matter. You were in college at the time of this happening. People get the idea.
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