Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Food & Me

There's a lot I could say about food. But I'll stick to two facets of the relationship food and I share:

1.) I'm terrible at remembering the names of food and especially different ingredients of food. I am also terrible at describing food.

2.) I'm terrible at identifying, and thus describing, taste.

Of course, I'm going to have a hard time remembering any examples right now. But I shall try.

Part One - Names and Descriptions of Foods and Ingredients

Some foods and/or ingredients, no matter how often I eat them, I don't remember what they are. Worse yet, I sure as hell can't describe them. It's just disastrous. For example, if you asked me what a compote was, I couldn't tell you, though I'd imagine I've eaten (insert type of compote here) compote before, but I don't know what that means. I now know cuz I wikipedia'd it. Custard? I could identify it but as for ingredients? I think egg white is part of it? Tiramisu is a good one because I've actually MADE tiramisu so I could probably tell you some of the ingredients (if I made it correctly, that is) but I'd have a hard time describing it to you.

I need to just go look at the menu of a fancy restaurant to give you some good examples. I'm the opposite of foodie; I think that is a called "a terrible person".

My biggest fault as a man is not being able to properly identify cuts of beef/cow. I can identify a filet, for example, and probably  New York strip, but the different between a ribeye, porterhouse, and T-Bone (ok, that one should be pretty obvious) I couldn't tell you. It's embarassing.

I also certainly can't do this at a Tex Mex restaurant because so much of the food involves rice, meat, and tortillas. However, in a Tex Mex restaurant, I don't think non-differentiation is all that surprising. Those menus have at least 67 different combinations and it's all almost the exact same. So I feel less bad about this one.

This was especially prevalent when I visited India for nearly 3 months earlier in 2013. I had a hard time remembering the names of anything because, well, the names just sounded very different than what I'm used to hearing. Add in my pre-existing condition I would like to call "food idiocy" and I could hardly remember any names of food I was eating. I actually took a photo of the menu a couple of times. And if you wanted a description of the food, you're better of with Google.

This last paragraph should at least give you a clue as to why I'm writing about this on a travel blog: I'm even worse at identifying what really goes into a food on a menu because, even if I know the translation for something, I may not know what that food is even in English or at least know the taste. It also happens that when people ask me to describe some foods in the US, I can't do it. I'll be like "Well, even if I knew the translation of that, it wouldn't help me."

Part Two - I Can't Describe Taste

Sure, I can tell you if something is sweet, salty, or sour. But bitter? I'm terrible at saying something is bitter. I've even forgotten the Spanish word for bitter at this point. Let me look it up...amargo. Bitter is amargo.

As bad as I am at describing the composition of a food, I'm worse at describing an actual flavor or taste. This in part stems from the fact I have an extremely limited range of adjectives for all things in this world, which, compounded, with my food deficiency, leaves me with about 1 total word for food: sweet...or I guess also "not sweet". It is also because I am shitty at identifying taste. I should just say "well, it's not sweet, salty, or sour, therefore it must be bitter". But I have absolutely no propensity to say "oh wow, this has hints of chickory and cinnamon, and is that cumin I taste?" I will never be that guy. I could taste straight cumin right before tasting something with cumin and wouldn't know that cumin was in the second thing.

Really, that's about it. I can't remember, describe, or identify foods, the names of foods, tastes or flavors. I pretty fail all around in this area of life.

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