I was talking about Argentine culture the other day with 2 or 3 friends and how, well, stupid some Argentine policies are (you know, the big national/political policies that countries make). This post is not here to discuss Argentine culture or political policies. It is here to discuss my internal reaction to them.
And it was not just to Argentine political policy. It was also to some of Argentine culture and how people do things here. I saw it playing out in 3 steps in my head:
1.) Offer to help the Argentinians and/or Argentine government
2.) The Argentinians react lazily, passively, or otherwise nonchalantly and I become indignant/outraged/frustrated
3.) I take over their shit and make it better on my own
The question now shifts from "How can I make Argentina better AND make a dollar for myself?" but to "Why was this my reaction?" The rest of the conversation was lost to me as I thought about this.
Why? Why did I suddenly feel the urge to take something from someone else, something that wasn't mine, or rightfully mine, and make it better on my own? Better yet, once I've taken this thing from its owners, they aren't going to want it back. I've done it for no one except myself, to make myself feel better (which isn't always the worst answer).
I was quickly reminded of this post I saw featured several times on social media on Columbus Day: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day
I'm paraphrasing here, but basically Columbus says in it "We could conquer the lot of these people with 50 of our own men. It'd be so easy!" more or less glossing over the immorality of genocide and theft, you know, cuz, those were the times. As my father once said (again, paraphrasing), "I see no evidence civilization has become any more civilized over the last thousand years."*
The reason Colubmus felt this way is perhaps a little clearer: he wanted/was obsessed with gold and whatever else and wanted glory for the kingdom, whatever kingdom he came from. He wanted to dominate because it was his job. You think his expidition was of the humanitarian variety? Or was there gold in them thar hills and it's yours for the taking, even if you gotta leave a few bodies behind you on the way?
Back to my desire to dominate...I think it is complicated. I think for one, every needs victory in their lives, wins in their lives. We need to win. For self-esteem, for morale, so we have that inner confidence to keep going, and, as everything ultimately leads to, for sex. It's competition, really? But that's the answer to everything so that's the last time I'll mention it.
The second reason I felt the desire to dominate was because I wanted to fix something. I like fixing things when I know how to fix them and it's a bit of a challenge. Fixing Argentina (not that it's broken, per se, but everything can be improved and Argentina has more low-hanging fruit than your average country) wouldn't be easy, but it'd be fun and challenging.
Third, I want to dominate because, well, it's a darker side of humanity that I have and that we all have. I wanted to win. I was Walter White in the moment. No matter the cost, I want to win. I want to take from the other person and stand on their neck. Morbid and awful, yes, but it is an impulse, hopefully one that stays an impulse.
But at the end of the day, to what end? Once it's fixed, now what? I don't want to fix. I want to do something meaningful. Create. Not fix what already exists. This feeling counterbalances my feelings of conquest, along with other more benevolent feelings, like not wanting to kill people, and so I move on. If a country doesn't want my help, won't use my help, nor does it want to be helped by anyone, it doesn't want much of anything for that matter, let it be. I can make money here, but I don't have to stress out about it.
*Pops, you'll be happy to know that as I write this in the hostel, The Beatles' "Yesterday" is playing.
And it was not just to Argentine political policy. It was also to some of Argentine culture and how people do things here. I saw it playing out in 3 steps in my head:
1.) Offer to help the Argentinians and/or Argentine government
2.) The Argentinians react lazily, passively, or otherwise nonchalantly and I become indignant/outraged/frustrated
3.) I take over their shit and make it better on my own
The question now shifts from "How can I make Argentina better AND make a dollar for myself?" but to "Why was this my reaction?" The rest of the conversation was lost to me as I thought about this.
Why? Why did I suddenly feel the urge to take something from someone else, something that wasn't mine, or rightfully mine, and make it better on my own? Better yet, once I've taken this thing from its owners, they aren't going to want it back. I've done it for no one except myself, to make myself feel better (which isn't always the worst answer).
I was quickly reminded of this post I saw featured several times on social media on Columbus Day: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day
I'm paraphrasing here, but basically Columbus says in it "We could conquer the lot of these people with 50 of our own men. It'd be so easy!" more or less glossing over the immorality of genocide and theft, you know, cuz, those were the times. As my father once said (again, paraphrasing), "I see no evidence civilization has become any more civilized over the last thousand years."*
The reason Colubmus felt this way is perhaps a little clearer: he wanted/was obsessed with gold and whatever else and wanted glory for the kingdom, whatever kingdom he came from. He wanted to dominate because it was his job. You think his expidition was of the humanitarian variety? Or was there gold in them thar hills and it's yours for the taking, even if you gotta leave a few bodies behind you on the way?
Back to my desire to dominate...I think it is complicated. I think for one, every needs victory in their lives, wins in their lives. We need to win. For self-esteem, for morale, so we have that inner confidence to keep going, and, as everything ultimately leads to, for sex. It's competition, really? But that's the answer to everything so that's the last time I'll mention it.
The second reason I felt the desire to dominate was because I wanted to fix something. I like fixing things when I know how to fix them and it's a bit of a challenge. Fixing Argentina (not that it's broken, per se, but everything can be improved and Argentina has more low-hanging fruit than your average country) wouldn't be easy, but it'd be fun and challenging.
Third, I want to dominate because, well, it's a darker side of humanity that I have and that we all have. I wanted to win. I was Walter White in the moment. No matter the cost, I want to win. I want to take from the other person and stand on their neck. Morbid and awful, yes, but it is an impulse, hopefully one that stays an impulse.
But at the end of the day, to what end? Once it's fixed, now what? I don't want to fix. I want to do something meaningful. Create. Not fix what already exists. This feeling counterbalances my feelings of conquest, along with other more benevolent feelings, like not wanting to kill people, and so I move on. If a country doesn't want my help, won't use my help, nor does it want to be helped by anyone, it doesn't want much of anything for that matter, let it be. I can make money here, but I don't have to stress out about it.
*Pops, you'll be happy to know that as I write this in the hostel, The Beatles' "Yesterday" is playing.
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