I'ma let you finish, but...
This is the story of my adventure to La Cuevas de Las Manos (The Cave (bum bum BUUUMMM) of Hands). So much to say. Where to begin.
After writing this post, it was so long I knew I'd probably give some a hatred aneurysm, so I cut it into several pieces.
The Drive To The Cave and What Men Are Made Of
The drive to TCOH from Perito Moreno is 116 km. Google says 163 but it doesn't know about the (new?) access road after 88 km south. 88 km of smooth sailing.* Then about 13-15 km of hell, then a final 13-15 km of not bad, with a final "poop your pants" moment at the end. Quite the finale.
After the 88 km of yellow brick road, you turn onto a dirt/gravel/bullshit access road. I get it's probably not worth it to pave the road, but damnit your tourism strategy SUCKS, ARGENTINA! ALL CAPS EXPLETIVES! This road you really can't go more than 40 km on (you know, 25-30 mph). It's just too much gravel and rocks and I'm in a 3 door POS. But it was fun.
There were a few very steep parts of the road, to go up or down on, and of course, I knew I'd have to do the opposite on the return trip. There were guardrails in most spots where there should have been but a couple where there weren't. If I had started sliding left-to-right, or vice versa, uncontrollably, I would have had to bail out. No joke. This road was so steep in several spots, than, it was like that feeling you get right when you get to the top of a rollercoaster and you kind of lose your breath right before you drop and your nuts end up in your throat (or ovaries. I'm totally equal opportunity/pro choice, ladies.) I'm not kidding, that's how steep this shit was. Just "bang them drum, slowly" down these roads. And going up, it was 1st or 2nd gear and "come on, come onnnnnn, COME ON BABY WE CAN DO THIS! WOOOO!" And then I'd feed it a carrot. I was really grateful to have a manual at these times.
Also, this road was both simultaneously wide and narrow. You really wanted to stay away from the sides, or at least away from danger, so more in the middle. It was more than wide enough for 2 cars to be side by side but you never really wanted that happen. And I thank God it never did. To me, anyway.
On a personal note: doing this, this trip, the planning, the renting a car, driving on this road has given me a great deal of confidence in what I can do. I've never been terribly self-sufficient but I'm proving to myself I can be. A trait which can be learned and improved. It's a cliché, but I'm sure you've seen in a movie or TV show or perhaps someone has said something similar in real life: "You see, nothing seems that hard when you've looked a tiger right in the eye and he blinked first."**
Having conquered these really steep roads, up and down, mildly worrying about them on the way back, I come to a T. I think it says 15 more km to the left is TCOH. To the right, I can't remember, El Calafate maybe? So whatever, I go left. This road is WAY BETTER. Well, that's relative. Still not paved, just less actual gravel. More packed dirt. And it's great, I can up to like 60 km on this road. I passed all sorts of animals: alpaca (sp?), horses, cows. I almost stopped and took a photo of this group of cows. I would have posted it with the caption: "What is this, India?!" But, alas, no WiFi and I would have forgotten to post it anyway. I passed other animals on this excursion in general. You had to be pretty careful sometimes because, well, you don't want to hit them. They'd screw up my car/strand me and walk away laughing.
So finally I reach the entrance. You have to go down a road that alternates direction because it's so steep. I remember 2 sharp cutbacks but I think I'm misremembering. I think there were more. Oh, and this part of the road was DEFINITELY only wide enough for 1 car. If you met another car, you're totally fucked. And with no guardrail. Jesus. Almost pooped a brick.
And then, you get there. There are two nice, well-constructed log cabins there, one for tourists to hang out in while you wait for the tour to start with loads of info on TCOH. The other was for the workers there, I believe, to live, or at least keep their stuff in. Again, Argentina, you frustrate the shit out of me. You can do this, with your bilingual signs, but not a simple bilingual website. Just, damn it.
And that's it! I've got another post about the cave itself but nothing on the return trip. It was basically this post in reverse, but with a little less sweat and a little more confidence.
This is the story of my adventure to La Cuevas de Las Manos (The Cave (bum bum BUUUMMM) of Hands). So much to say. Where to begin.
After writing this post, it was so long I knew I'd probably give some a hatred aneurysm, so I cut it into several pieces.
The Drive To The Cave and What Men Are Made Of
The drive to TCOH from Perito Moreno is 116 km. Google says 163 but it doesn't know about the (new?) access road after 88 km south. 88 km of smooth sailing.* Then about 13-15 km of hell, then a final 13-15 km of not bad, with a final "poop your pants" moment at the end. Quite the finale.
After the 88 km of yellow brick road, you turn onto a dirt/gravel/bullshit access road. I get it's probably not worth it to pave the road, but damnit your tourism strategy SUCKS, ARGENTINA! ALL CAPS EXPLETIVES! This road you really can't go more than 40 km on (you know, 25-30 mph). It's just too much gravel and rocks and I'm in a 3 door POS. But it was fun.
There were a few very steep parts of the road, to go up or down on, and of course, I knew I'd have to do the opposite on the return trip. There were guardrails in most spots where there should have been but a couple where there weren't. If I had started sliding left-to-right, or vice versa, uncontrollably, I would have had to bail out. No joke. This road was so steep in several spots, than, it was like that feeling you get right when you get to the top of a rollercoaster and you kind of lose your breath right before you drop and your nuts end up in your throat (or ovaries. I'm totally equal opportunity/pro choice, ladies.) I'm not kidding, that's how steep this shit was. Just "bang them drum, slowly" down these roads. And going up, it was 1st or 2nd gear and "come on, come onnnnnn, COME ON BABY WE CAN DO THIS! WOOOO!" And then I'd feed it a carrot. I was really grateful to have a manual at these times.
Also, this road was both simultaneously wide and narrow. You really wanted to stay away from the sides, or at least away from danger, so more in the middle. It was more than wide enough for 2 cars to be side by side but you never really wanted that happen. And I thank God it never did. To me, anyway.
On a personal note: doing this, this trip, the planning, the renting a car, driving on this road has given me a great deal of confidence in what I can do. I've never been terribly self-sufficient but I'm proving to myself I can be. A trait which can be learned and improved. It's a cliché, but I'm sure you've seen in a movie or TV show or perhaps someone has said something similar in real life: "You see, nothing seems that hard when you've looked a tiger right in the eye and he blinked first."**
Having conquered these really steep roads, up and down, mildly worrying about them on the way back, I come to a T. I think it says 15 more km to the left is TCOH. To the right, I can't remember, El Calafate maybe? So whatever, I go left. This road is WAY BETTER. Well, that's relative. Still not paved, just less actual gravel. More packed dirt. And it's great, I can up to like 60 km on this road. I passed all sorts of animals: alpaca (sp?), horses, cows. I almost stopped and took a photo of this group of cows. I would have posted it with the caption: "What is this, India?!" But, alas, no WiFi and I would have forgotten to post it anyway. I passed other animals on this excursion in general. You had to be pretty careful sometimes because, well, you don't want to hit them. They'd screw up my car/strand me and walk away laughing.
So finally I reach the entrance. You have to go down a road that alternates direction because it's so steep. I remember 2 sharp cutbacks but I think I'm misremembering. I think there were more. Oh, and this part of the road was DEFINITELY only wide enough for 1 car. If you met another car, you're totally fucked. And with no guardrail. Jesus. Almost pooped a brick.
And then, you get there. There are two nice, well-constructed log cabins there, one for tourists to hang out in while you wait for the tour to start with loads of info on TCOH. The other was for the workers there, I believe, to live, or at least keep their stuff in. Again, Argentina, you frustrate the shit out of me. You can do this, with your bilingual signs, but not a simple bilingual website. Just, damn it.
And that's it! I've got another post about the cave itself but nothing on the return trip. It was basically this post in reverse, but with a little less sweat and a little more confidence.
*Argentine roads, it seems, are as good as US roads. Really very nice. Nice work, Argentina.
**Brennan, for the love of God (capitalized here for effect), go back and put the Justified quote in here about staring down a coal train.
For more, see: La Cueva de Las Manos - Part 4: I mean, there is a cave, but (Brennan messes up magic tricks)
**Brennan, for the love of God (capitalized here for effect), go back and put the Justified quote in here about staring down a coal train.
For more, see: La Cueva de Las Manos - Part 4: I mean, there is a cave, but (Brennan messes up magic tricks)
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