American Entertainment, Part 2: Pop Culture As A Multiplier Effect

So this is Part 2 of my post on American Entertainment. But I had the idea for this post specifically a while ago. But now, so much time has passed, I suppose I've "lost the fury". Lost my way? Lost my fire? I don't know, something. I'm sure there's a good Shakespearean or Dickensian quote I could/should use here, but, for the life of me, I'm not educated. I don't know Greek but I know to beware the Greeks bearing gifts. Do you think that's enough?

Anyways, in Part 1 of this post I talked about American Entertainment as an industry, a product, and an export. A great product indeed, an industry worth billions. Something we can be proud of I think. Some time back, years I am sure, probably in college, I was reading some book, probably the under/over-appreciated (for me over but so many people have insulted it I don't what to believe any more), I was giving some thought to American culture in a larger context. I was disillusioned at the moment, as I'm sure others were, still are, will be, and will continue to be, over American culture and our love of celebrity. We should think the inventor of the USB is a celebrity and praise him, his genius, his knowledge, his steadfastness, and his work ethic! Not Paris Hilton and her sluttiness (I'm not slut-shaming, just making a point) or, I dunno, whoever the fuck does Talk Soup now or whatever the hell show people watch now.* I mean, honestly, I could not give a FUCK about the royal wedding (sorry, you English bastards**), the royal baby, the royal baptism, the royal pregnancy, OR the royal bowel movement, MUCH LESS Blue Valentine or whatever the hell Jigga and wifey named their kid or Kanyeezy and Kim FamousForNoGoddamnReasonDashian named theirs.

I don't like pop culture, if it wasn't obvious. To me, it's silly, stupid, and pointless. But I shouldn't condemn it, for at least two reasons. One, it's not for me. It's not. It's for the fools who do. Go for it, kids. You want to see Justin Beiber (or is it Bieber? Who gives a...) banging some midget prostitute, excuse me, lady of the night, on a big wheel  while eating some falafel, be my guest. TMZ has the latest and some other douchebags have already created memes, gifs, and remixes.

As I said, it's not problem. I shouldn't get my blood pressure up over it. But it's my OCD, you see? I can't stand inefficiency, even if it has nothing to do with me. I hate seeing people wasting their time. I have to learn to get over it.

I also shouldn't condemn it because it's big money. Pop culture, while a thing, and a powerful force that, one that drives careers in contracts, would not exist without the larger arts around it. Or at least it would be significantly smaller. It would not exist without television shows (NYC), films (Hollywood), music, etc. I don't mean the fine arts, necessarily, or I guess what you would call the finer arts, classical music, paintings, less traditional, more modern, post-modern, ultra-modern, and sentient being art movements. Films and television certainly can be fine art (Breaking Bad for example or just the way Meryl Streep does everything perfectly in her movies). They just aren't Beethoven. Sorry. Kubrick came close, I imagine. It's a different way of being creative, anyway.

But the point is, pop culture comes out of these things. It makes these stars of music/movies/television shows even bigger than they otherwise would be. First comes the fame for some reason (unless you're an internet celebrity, in which case, fuck off***) then comes the obsession with the individual with the person, the star, the celebrity. It is natural, this fascination, of course. It has been around since time. These people make us feel good and, psychologically, we come to love them. We want to repay them with affection for the things they give us. But I really don't care, or even want to know, the size of Kate Winslet's last poop or that Justin Timberlake has a hangnail.

But the world is celebrity is good in that it makes the product, the package of all of this entertainment even bigger and more valuable.

I once learned (via NPR, I need to find the article/podcast/whatever) of how backwards the NBA is and how underpaid LeBron James is. He is so that more of the money paid to players can be spread around and you can have teams in places where normally the market wouldn't support it. Like Orlando, FL, or Sacramento, CA.***** But!**** But, the NBA is bigger for this reason. It reaches more markets, more people, and is this overall more valuable. So LeBron James sells more jerseys and shoes and makes up his lower salary in other ways.

It is like this with American entertainment and pop culture. Our pop culture makes our entertainment even more valuable. And that is fine. It is good.

But, to a larger part, to scale, to an multiplication, our entertainment is consumed by the entire world. Our music, our movies, our television. The popularity is a wholly separate matter. This is true for several reasons, I can only speculate, but one because we invest so heavily in it and, two, it is in English. We provide a great platform, with both of these things, for people to make, both the artists and companies. And consumers get a great product.

So, taking what I said about celebrity and our entertainment as a product, pop culture and obsession with it, with celebrities, it makes our entertainment even more valuable and we make even more money globally. And the pop culture extends in our countries, with our celebrities and their celebrities.

The end.

*I had something for this, come back to me

**I mostly love the Brits, it's just fun to play colonial wargames all over again with you cheeky fellows. Something something Harry Potter.

***If you are an internet celebrity turned real celebrity, a la John Lajoie or Childish Gambino, you're cool

****There's always a but

*****Yes, yes, yes, every team has had it's glory days

Update 1 (2013-12-20)

I gotta say, in re-reading what I've written thus, my post has not quite lived up to expectations. Whatever. I'll have someone from the Times be my editor.

American Entertainment, Part 1: Our Greatest Export

American woman.

American psycho.

American entertainment.

Let's just get this out of the way: I want to clarify and disambiguate between two things: American entertainment and pop culture. American entertainment is the production, distribution, and consumption of our films, music, television shows, etc. Pop culture is the obsession with these things and with celebrity. I'll talk about the former in the first part of this post and the latter in the second part.

Some people say America doesn't make anything anymore, doesn't build anything anymore. So I've heard. Look at the stevedores of Baltimore shipping in Season 2 of The Wire. The death of the American working class, indeed. Reminds me a little bit of Pretty Woman. What is it that Richard Gere says as he laments that his success has come with his company only breaking up and selling other companies? "We don't build anything." I wonder if he knew how poignant that quote would be today.

But for me, I really couldn't disagree with these people more. Absolutely America still builds things. You know, like buildings. We have manufacturing. The Mercedes Benz and AirBus plants in Alabama, I think BMW has one in North Carolina now. Motorola (now owned by Google basically) at least assembles in Texas, right? I guess the lamentations have quieted down recently. And we have companies that build all over the world. HP, IBM, and others have manufacturing in Tierra del Fuego, Argentina.

And not only do we build, but we produce! What does California alone have? Facebook, Google, Apple. Washington has Microsoft. Ok, so we're pretty strong on the technology front, obvi. And for these companies, what I mean we're producing is services, so not tangible goods, but other things people want.

So, to the point of my post: American entertainment. I want to talk about it specifically because, for me, given the scale, it's rivaled by no one globally. Not even close. There are competitors I'd say, think Chinese cinema, Bollywood (it's a big industry in India but I don't see it consumed much outside of India and some surrounding countries and Indians abroad). South Korea is doing a great job with music (Gangnam Style). They really know how to throw money at that industry and make it work.

But American entertainment? Fuggedaboutit. Just one example: The Avengers, Thor. $200 million to make a movie that might lose $150 million or make $800 million. God look at that! What investment! What return! What loss! Over and over again! Without fail! We crank out TONS of movies and we haven't touch tv shows or music yet! $200 million on a single movie and it's not like we make one movie a year.

I believe we are the pinnacle of entertainment. We make the most and we make the best entertainment, year after year. It doesn't mean that we make the absolute best song every year or best movie ever year, but we product so much good entertainment. If you want to be big globally, you have to work in the US market. Take The Beatles. I'm paraphrasing here, but they said something to the effect of, "We don't want to come to the US until we're number one." Numero uno. Notice they didn't say France, they didn't say Germany, or Ghana, or China. The US. Rail against me all you want for being a Pro-America American and for being obnoxious, but when it comes to entertainment, we're kind of a big deal.

Our entertainment, produced in the US (and, of course, filmed abroad where applicable) is eaten UP by the United States and the world. I mean, California would be, what, the world's 8th largest economy by itself?* It's true. You know it. I know it. American entertainment is consumed and loved by every corner of the world. It's like Coke. And people say the world hates us. Fuck yourself.**

All you have to do is travel a little bit to see it. People watch our shows, in English or translated from English in their language. They listen to our music in English. They watch our movies with subtitles. So many people abroad have heard of, watched, and/or loved Friends. I have heard non-Americans say "Yeah, of course we have music in our language, but in order to be known globally, you have to be in English so more people can understand and identify with your music. You're just reaching a much larger market."*** I've met people in Argentina who watching Breaking Bad. It's great.

Other countries have what other countries have. We build, they build. They are no better or worse than us for any of this. Please don't take away from this that I think America is the best country in the world or better than any other country in the world. But I do think our entertainment industry is the best in the world. You might have whatever you have. But America? We have The Hulk.

Coming up next week (i.e., whenever the hell I feel like): Part 2 - Pop Culture As A Multipliler Effect

*NO CLUE IF THIS IS RIGHT I MADE IT UP. And, of course, that's not just due to the entertainment industry.

**See, Ashley? It does work.

***Sure, this is more an argument for English, but bear with me

Uruguay In Four Parts - Cuz I Said That's How Many It Needed - Parte Cuatro - Punta del Este

So I'm doing a review/my thoughts on Uruguay in four equal installments (we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all installments were created equal):

1. Uruguay - an overall review and my thoughts on what they're doing right or wrong as a country
2. Montevideo - thoughts on the capital city
3. Colonia - one word: chivitos
4. Punta del Este - best beaches in South America (so far)

You are now experiencing Part Four. Enjoy.

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

So, Punta del Este. It means "Point of the east". East point? West point? West Point? Whatever. So, first, GO. Go there. Do that. Do that thang. Seriously, it's beautiful.

I remember the first time I heard about Punta del Este. A beautiful Argentinian girl told me about it. Said it was her favorite beach to go to, at least in Uruguay, anyway. I remember her describing it to me as a "town", but I have a shitty memory, especially when I'm drinking.* I'm not sure if I like going to places with the wrong conception, or not conception for that matter, of said place. I should really do my homework. But I suppose I do enjoy the surprise. Especially when it's a nice surprise. I feel more endeared to a place that I haven't traveled there and found it to be a shithole. So, thanks, places.

This is all to say that, in my humble opinion, Punta del Este NOT a town. When I first saw it from a distance, I saw high-rise buildings, presumably hotels and condos. There's a freaking Conrad there, one of the high end brands of the Hilton chains of hotels. But tall buildings a city does not make. Punta del Este had some of the markings of a city but it still felt like a town. Driving through (we did this in a rental car in late November so it was before tourist season and we didn't have to deal with the bus station), Punta del Este is stretched out about, the curves of the road matching the shoreline, the touristy places nearer the point and the locals who run them living further inward. All hail consumerism.

But Punta del Este is beautiful. I loved it. To this point in my trip so far (and I have not been to Rio yet before you get all up in arms), the best beaches I have visited in South America. Beautiful. Comparable to beaches on the gulf, specifically Orange Beach in Alabama and Pensacola Beach in Florida in terms of cleanliness, sand (color, cut, clarity, and carat), day-beauty**, and overall ambience and beachiness***. It is more or less attractive than the control beaches in terms of seagulls. The girls are comparable, which I know is important to everyone.

It it, just, nice beach! The sand is warm and inviting. Go, put out a towel, and enjoy.

Unfortunately, I was only able to visit their for the day, not even one night. I could have spent a week there but I would have been like Odysseus with Circe. Five years would have felt like five days. I would have been lost. But a glorious five years it would be.**** If you get the chance to go, make sure you see the hand statue (see photo below). It is there in remembrance of those lost at see. There are two others, at least, once in Puerto Natalie, Chile, and another in the north of Chile somewhere. I'm not sure where. It is good for making photo.

As I was there for only a day, I did not get to experience the nightlife, so I have no thoughts or recommendations there. But it's the beach. Get some rum and make a party of it. Otherwise, like I said, make sure and see the hand statue and there's also this thing called casapueblo. Yeah, casapueblo. Google it if you're interested. I wasn't impressed. There's also a couple of good miradores for photos.

Love to all,
Ya Boy

*Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

**How beautiful the day is

***Scientific term of my own design. Patent-pending.

****Am I a beach bum? What's the definition of a beach bum? I think I'm a beach bum.

Uruguay In Four Parts - Cuz I Said That's How Many It Needed - Parte Tres - Colonia

So I'm doing a review/my thoughts on Uruguay in four equal installments (we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all installments were created equal):

1. Uruguay - an overall review and my thoughts on what they're doing right or wrong as a country
2. Montevideo - thoughts on the capital city
3. Colonia - one word: chivitos
4. Punta del Este - best beaches in South America (so far)

You are now experiencing Part Three. Enjoy.

Colonia, Colonia, everywhere, nor any drop to drink. Not sure why I put that. Apparently The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner is on the brain. Deal with it.

As I write this I'm sitting in a "VIP" lounge in the Santiago airport, at a nice computer with a nice keyboard so I thought I'd bang out a post. Ya dig?

Colonia. It's a little town in Uruguay. Why do people go there? First, it's to get there from Buenos Aires. When you want to go from Buenos Aires to Uruguay by ferry, you have two choices (there may be more but I don't know of them if so): Colonia or Montevideo. Colonia takes about an hour by ferry, I think Montevideo maybe 2. So Colonia is closer. If you're a non-Argentinian and want to make a run into Uruguay to pull some American currency (yes, Uruguayan ATMs rock and dispense USD) so you can convert it/change it back over in Argentina and get the sweet blue rate, Colonia is a great/easy option. I think round trip with taxes will run you $40-$50*, depending on when you buy your ticket (day of, day before, etc) and what day of the week you guy. I could also totally be misremembering the price.

Why else do people go there? Well, it's a cute little town. There's a lighthouse or two. I think when I was there for a day I saw two but I feel like people talked up the lighthouses a bit more. I think there are more than two lighthouses in Colonia is what I'm saying. And there's an old church, maybe, I don't know. It really is a cute town. It's not huge. It's got some old streets. I feel like we saw most of it when we were there. Not a whole lot to do.

One super fun thing to do is rent scooters there. They "red-line", which is a total crock, they don't, at 45 KM/H. Which is a joke! The ones we rented in Thailand had no trouble breaking 90! And they would still go faster! But Spencer and I took them around a lot of the town. As much as we could see, really. We saw a park and a lighthouse and whatever and then we just found the roads that take you out of town. I'm not saying we saw every square inch, but I'm not saying we didn't. The scooters were fun, regardless. It was great taking them to and from the hotel.

We also rented a golf cart and this was only fun when you had someone riding in the back and could terrify them with sharp turns. It was terrifying for them because (I know from personal experience) the backseat doesn't feel as stable. It feels like you're gonna lean to one side and tip the seat over or fall of something. But it was fun. It didn't go very fast, though. Bleh.

Colonia, as I'm sure you read in my post On Why Spencer Burness Is The Greatest Human Being Ever, has terrific chivitos. Get them from the chivito stand on the street. They'll rock your face off.

And Colonia is great cuz there's a Sheraton with a golf course and it's not super expensive to play (though we didn't play) and cool cab drivers and other things I'm not at liberty to mention. Although the bars did close awful early on a Wednesday compared to how Montevideo and Buenos Aires rock their nightlife.

It's a cute place to go and spend 1, maybe 2 days. 2 days max. If you're going from Buenos Aires to Montevideo, I recommend you take the ferry to Colonia, stay the night, and continue to Montevideo by bus the next day. Or reverse if you've already go to Montevideo and are going to return to Buenos Aires. It's worth a stop. A short stop.

That's all. Love you, Colonia. Peace out cub scout.

*Blue rate paid in dollaaahhhsss, not por tarjeta. Also, Colonia Express (not sure about Buquebus) has online specials. But you gotta pay by card to get it. So it's not really any cheaper. If Argentina ever fixes it's hilarious currency sitch, it will be worth it to book and pay online. But not yet!

Uruguay In Four Parts - Cuz I Said That's How Many It Needed - Parte Dos - Montevideo

So I'm doing a review/my thoughts on Uruguay in four equal installments (we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all installments were created equal):

1. Uruguay - an overall review and my thoughts on what they're doing right or wrong as a country
2. Montevideo - thoughts on the capital city
3. Colonia - one word: chivitos
4. Punta del Este - best beaches in South America (so far)

You are now experiencing Part Two. Enjoy.

Montevideo is a cool little city in the southwestish area of Uruguay. It's on the water (the west side still kind of touches the river stemming from up near Buenos Aires) and the south touches the Atlantic ocean and has a very busy port (allegedly. I don't know how to determine if a port is actually busy, but the port is certainly in use.) With I think 1.something million people (remember, Uruguay in total has 3 millionish people), it's pretty relaxed, especially compared to a Buenos Aires with 15 million people. That's not to say the people are lazy, but life loves a little more slowly there. It's nice and cute and usually quiet. The buildings are absolutely beautiful as the city still has a great deal of 18th and 19th century colonial architecture. The city is well-lit at night, but not as well-lit as Buenos Aires. Combined with the relative scarcity of people, the town can feel like a ghosttown at night, all spooky like, especially when there's a chill in the air and the wind is up. It's all "Where is everyboddyyyy?" and then you see the sign "Don't Open Dead Inside".

Montevideo is also very nice because, as I said, it's on the water, and when things are the water, what else are there bound to be? Beaches. That's right, betch. Beaches. There's plenty of 'em. And it's nice. And people go. And I get burnt. Also, when I was there, mid-November until beginning of December, it was hot. I mean, it did rain some, but, well, you didn't come here for a weather report, now did you? I saw a little volleyball, a little bit more futbol.

I'll take a minute to talk about a couple neighborhoods in Montevideo. First, Cuidad Vieja (Old City for you gringos and gringas). Cuidad Vieja is a nice part of town during the day, but watch yourself. People may try to rob you here. There is very, very little violent crime in Montevideo, so your odds of someone trying to rob you with a weapon are pretty slim, but don't take any chances. Watch your shit. And, just, don't go there at night. Just don't. Second, Pocitos. Pocitos, to me, is about the nicest neighborhood in Montevideo. Plenty of money, but people aren't flashy. But all around there, on the water, people are running on the sidewalks. People are like, superactive here. It's interesting because I heard Uruguay has the second highest rate of obesity or diabetes or something in the world, just after, you guessed it, the US. It's weird because when you're in Montevideo, it seems like everybody is trying to out fit each other.

Montevideo has some very nice parks. If you're there, go visit Parque Rodo. Pretty sweet. Also, around the city there are plenty of hamburger (hamburguesa) and hotdog (pancho) stands. Get a hambuger. You won't regret it. Seriously, these things are good. Put some peppers and shit on it.

Well, this post is getting long enough, but I wanna talk about one more pretty thing in Montevideo...the trees. Not kidding. Along the street and in the parks, the city has done a GREAT job with pretty trees.

When you walk down lots and lots and lots of the streets in Montevideo, they are lined with trees. In perfect formation. That is probably what makes you notice it more than anything. They are evenly spaced and for each tree that is on one side of the street, there is one that matches it on the other. There is, what I like to call, symmetry. And the the trees are large and strong and beautiful and many, if not all, have been cut or naturally made to bend so they angle themselves over the street. As they do such, since every tree on one side has a one-for-one match on the other, the trees meet in the middle and the all form a canopy down the road. It's magical.

It's quite impressive, really, because I don't think this is as easy as it looks, mainly because of the scale of the undertaking. Montevideo has what I call "half-blocks". That means that for every 1000 numbers in the addresses, it takes two blocks to cover that many numbers. A block, then, only covers 500 numbers. I am used to blocks covering either 100 or 1000 in numbers. But not in Montevideo. The point is, Montevideo has a LOT of blocks. And this is what I mean by scale. Montevideo, in the city, has lots of blocks and lots of streets. So to line every street with trees, and then to maintain them, is a massive undertaking. I'm not sure why they did this, but if nothing it certainly made the city very pretty.

And that's it. I doubt you want to read about trees any more. I just wanted to point out the fact that Montevideo has done something marvelous for its city with the trees and praise it as such. For whatever else they are doing, right or wrong, they got the trees right.

So that's it about Montevideo. Think I missed something? Want me to add something? Well, there's about 4700 different ways you can contact me via social media or whatnot, so have at it.

Update 1 (2013-12-18)

Oh, by the way, at some of the beaches, it looks like there are gold flecks in the water. I'm not kidding. The water is dirty but swimmable there so this additional detail doesn't deter me as well but I swear it's like you're wading into a bottle of Goldschlager. It's really weird. I didn't find what I was looking for when I didn't find it on the first page of my Google search results (which indicates the information exists nowhere in the world) so I gave up there. I also mentioned this to several people in Montevideo and they had no idea what I'm talking about so either I'm the only who can see the fortune/pollution (one man's trash, right?) in the sea or I've had a stroke. Anyways, if you DO know what I'm talking about and/or have any idea what it's about, let me know. Comment on this post, Facebook me, e-mail, tweet at me. Hell, Snapchat me. Whatevs. Outskees.

Uruguay In Four Parts - Cuz I Said That's How Many It Needed - Parte Uno - Uruguay As A Whole

So I'm doing a review/my thoughts on Uruguay in four equal installments (we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all installments were created equal):

1. Uruguay - an overall review and my thoughts on what they're doing right or wrong as a country
2. Montevideo - thoughts on the capital city
3. Colonia - one word: chivitos
4. Punta del Este - best beaches in South America (so far)

You are now experiencing Part One. Enjoy.

Why I wanted to visit Uruguay

I decided I wanted to visit Uruguay when I was planning this trip over this summer of 2013 for several reasons. First, I wanted to visit all the countries that make up the more of less "horn" of South America, which is Argentina, Uruguay, and Brazil, and sort of Chile, but whatever. I very much enjoy south South America as I find that the further north I get, the more dangerous it is.* Second, it's very easy to get to Uruguay (Montevideo or Colonia or really a lot of places in Uruguay since Uruguay is a small country), so there's a convenience factor. Seriously. You can take a ferry from BA to Colonia in 1 hour. Or to Montevideo in not much more time, maybe 2 hours. It's, like, right there. And it'll cost you less than $100 USD for a 1-way trip. Really, it became a no-brainer. Visit Uruguay. It's right there. Get a feel for the country and get that stamp on that passport. Third, well, I want to experience as much of the world as I can. So why not? (Yes, this statement is similar to #2 but it's not the same). And I forgot all my other reasons for wanting to visit Uruguay.

A little background on Uruguay

Uruguay is a "tiny" (big in spirit and heart) country in South America bordered by Argentina to the east, Brazil to the sort of north and west and the Atlantic Ocean. It is also tiny in population, having maybe only 3 million people. It's cute, with great places like Montevideo (its capital city), Colonia, Punta del Este, Punta del Diablo, and, well, other places? They speak Spanish and their accent is similar to/the same as Argentina's, that is, they make the double L (ll) sound like a "shuh"**, not the "yuh" sound found in Mexico, Guatemala, Costa Rica, Chile, and parts of the United States***, just to name a few places.

Now, some specifics...

What Uruguay is doing right

First, a disclaimer: To this point in my blog, when I am not in Argentina, you will see me make a lot of comparisons to Argentina, just like I made comparisons of Argentina/South America to India, as before this trip, India was my only prolonged time outside the country. It is only natural.

• Trade - Uruguay is doing trade alright, well, at least better than Argentina. They don't seem to have as many tariffs on their goods, meaning they can import more goods and provide a wider selection of goods for their people. This is a good thing. More sales = more sales tax, if they have a sales tax. I'm not sure if they do. And if they did like Argentina and had companies make their own versions of those goods, those goods would suck, or at least not be as good as if they imported said goods from real companies. So, good job Uruguay.
• Cars - piggybacking off of the trade topic, I saw nicer cars. I assume it's because a) it's easier import good cars, or at least cars people like and want to buy and b) Uruguayans have the money for it. And Uruguayans have a good sense of style. About the money, as always, one of my economic indicators for an area/city/country is the cars because they are so widely seen, so having seen some good cars in Uruguay, seems like their doing alright.
• FOOD - OMG THE CHIVITO. Have I written about the chivito yet? Oh yeah, I have, in my blog post On Why Spencer Burness Is The Greatest Human Being Ever. But yeah, over fries or "al pan" (in sandwich form, put seared steak, ham, egg, cheese, and an assortment of spices, sauces, and lettuce and tomato. Dee-lish. But Uruguayans have other good food like...well, they share a lot of the same food as in Argentina, so you'll find parillas (lots of meat), alfajores, milanesas (not as good as "El Club de la Milanesa" milanesas, but they're only human). One great thing you'll find in Montevideo is an abundance of hamburger/hot dog stands and they do hamburgers right. Same great bread as the chivitos in Colonia and they will load it up with spices and sauces and for you, and mozzarella, bacon, and ham if you pay extra. I mean, it's almost a damn chivito again. And the hotdogs aren't bad either! I did find sangria to be more popular in Uruguay than in Argentina. Wine, baby. What up.
• Marijuana - from what I can tell, Marijuana is decriminalized in Uruguay. You can "consume" it, but I'm not sure the laws around producing (growing)/packaging/distributing/selling it. I assume it's legal to sell (and, in the same way, consume) in small amounts cuz you gotta buy it from somewhere, right? I heard that even soon the state, the government of Uruguay, is going to take over producing and selling (so they can tax it) marijuana. Smart. Very smart. Good job, guys. Way to be progressive.****
• Weather - I was there during the spring so I did have great weather in Uruguay, so there's that. I heart they've got some nasty winters, though. So maybe winter there sucks. And with little else to do...
• Beaches - Uruguay got some great beaches. In Montevideo and Punta del Este you can go lay out and enjoy it. Lots of people are out walking/running/biking along the beach (I mean, LOTS of people in Montevideo. It's incredible.).
• Um, other stuff - I'm sure Uruguay is doing other stuff right. So yeah. Maybe I'll come back and update later if I think of more.

What Uruguay is doing wrong

• Population - you can always question the wisdom of "we need more people". More people means more resources get consumed, etc. I get that. But Uruguay could do with more. Really not because they only have 3 million, but because the ones that are there are leaving (or so I've heard). So, that's not going to bode well for you in the future.
• And, you know, probably other stuff. Can't think of more right now. I've written a lot.

My final verdict: lookit, I think Uruguay is cute. And I'd totally support it's application to become part of the US as the 51st state.

*Feel free to argue with me on that

**This is not the only difference in dialect, but it's one of the biggest

***That's not a racist joke, I'm just dickin around

****I mean, hey, it's getting legal in parts of the US, right?

Why Communism Doesn't Work In The 21st Century

Disclaimer: I am not an econominst. Well, an educated at one. We are all economists at heart, or in doth, thy brain, and in thy brain hath not heart and not heart a hath. Brain.*

A few days ago as I was walking through Montevideo and saw, graffitied on a wall, "100 años de Rodney Arismendi / Somos Antiimperialistas / Somos Comunistas". And, while I know nothing of Uruguayan government, I don't think they're communists...

While I found the graffiti amusing, it got me thinking. Perplexing. Analyzing. Doth. Over the course of my trip, I have been thinking about/considering the Argentine fiscal/economic policy of, and allow me to quote the law here properly, "taxing the everliving SHIT out of imports"** and how much I disagree with it. I think it's very stupid. You just hurt yourself. Your citizens can't buy the goods they want at a reasonable price of any sane amount of ease and you make it more difficult to build reasonable trade relationships because foreign companies can't easily import goods into your country. Additionally, when companies inside your country build versions of goods that can't be imported, they, or at least I imagine, won't be as good as the imported versions. Everybody loses because of volume.***

I then began comparing this idea to communism. But first, another disclaimer:

I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THE ARGENTINE GOVERNMENT IS A COMMUNIST GOVERNMENT. My comparison is merely to say, in a world of global trade, not trading with other countries is foolish.

Disclaimer over

Here we go.

Again, I'm not a highly educated economist, or a highly educated anything, but communism, economically speaking****, relies on an entire country to produce everything it needs. It treats everyone equally, so the guy who wants to be a doctor and would be good at it is a railway worker. It destroys motivation and morale. As much as you can say this doesn't work for so, so many reasons, mainly the other bad communist reasons, like censoring people, it REALLY doesn't work in a world (cue voiceover) with global trade and communications.

In a world of global trade, everyone country should develop a set of competitive advantages. Then everyone trades the excesses of the goods they make for the goods they need. Basic economics, right? Russia makes guns, trades them for butter from Switzerland. The US makes pop culture, trades with South Korea for Psy, gives Psy back for free with an unkind, handwritten note written in Mandarin about how what a dirty trick South Korea "played on us". John Kerry resigns. China grows and exports rice, trades with Japan for Playstations. Argentina trades cows with Guatemala for coffee. You get the picture.

In a world with global trade, if you try to do everything yourself, whether in a communist fashion or like Argentina by heavily restricting trade, you're fucking yourself, your government, and your own people. They don't get as good of options of choice, basically, the best choice, the best options, or simply enough options (i.e., variety), you don't make as much tax revenue, and then you lose even more money for your country by not exporting as much as you could.

So when I say communism doesn't work in the 21st century, what I mean to say is, not being part of global trade in a world with global trade doesn't work. You just fuck yourself. This is a square-is-a-rectangle moment.

I just hate communism. So, fuck communism.*****

*I'm really into Shakespeare for some reason this morning. I blame The Newsroom. Although I think they quote Don Quixote more often.

**I translated this myself. Pretty sure it's accurate.

***That is to say, you will sell more imports at a 10% sales tax than a 100% import tax. Hence, by volume, you could make more tax revenue with the 10% sales tax than with the 100% import tax.

 ****And this is the only way I'm speaking about communism in this post: economically.

*****One of the biggest reasons I love America: I can say "I hate communism" and not get thrown in jail for it. Fuck yeah.

Let Them Eat Cake Or Put Them On A Diet

I was considering my post The Great American Variety, about the amount of variety Americans are exposed to in grocery stores, pharmacies, gas stations, etc. It's enormous. As I've been walking through the streets of South America (Buenos Aires, Perrito Moreno, and Montevideo specifically) I have also been considering not only the variety in these places but also the ease (or difficulty) with which people in these places can spend money.

In the United States, we make it relatively (ok, VERY) easy for people to spend money. Credit cards typically aren't difficult to aquire and you can use them ANYWHERE. Seriously, tell me the next time you can't use a credit card. Even without credit cards, there are debit cards, which, too, are accepted everywhere. Then there's cash and I see no short supply of ATMs. There are checks, but who uses those at retail outlets anymore? I think even now at Home Depot you can pay with PayPal. And payments are getting easier. Look at the Square payment system, PayPal competing with it. You can transfer money in all sorts of ways. Google Wallet. The new ISIS payment system backed by the big mobile providers (AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile) and credit card companies (AmEx, for example). It is very easy to spend your money in the US.

It is not quite the same situation outside the US. Granted I haven't visited everywhere, but I've found nowhere where it's quite so easy to spend money. In Europe, for example, they take card everywhere. It's fantastic and it's safer than carrying tons of cash around with you. But from what I can tell, it's more difficult to aquire a credit card in these places. Even in Canada, debit cards are very popular, credit cards less so. In India, outside of some restaurants and hotels, it was all cash. And ATMs were scarce. I don't know how people bought or sold anything over there. In Buenos Aires, plenty of places take card, but as I discuss in my post More on currency, arbitrage, and XOOM, you get the shitty bank rate when you use your credit card so it's foolish to use a credit card rather than use cash. But I was able to use my credit card at a grocery store in Montevideo yesterday! It was magical.


So I've been thinking this: if you make it very easy for people to spend money (to both get credit or at least make their cash readily available and easy to spend) and give them a wide variety of things to spend their money on, they would, probably, spend more money. In contrast, if you don't make it as easy for people to spend money (and if they haven't seen the US, they don't know the difference) and give them less variety (which, again, if they haven't seen the US they don't know better), they most likely won't spend as much of their money.

So which is better? Should the government be like protective parents, not letting their kid play on the jungle gym lest they hurt themselves, depriving them of an opportunity for fun? Or should the government give the people freedom, the freedom to play on the jungle gym but also potentially fall off and break their arm?

It's a difficult question. I'll address two of them here: limiting the upside and freedom.

Limiting The Upside

When I say limiting the upside, I mean, limiting the potential for positive outcomes. When you keep the child off the jungle gym, you ensure his safety (lest a meteor hit the earth right then, but, well, let's get into the finite nature of life at the moment). But you also "limt his upside". First, you are inhibiting his chance to have fun and enjoy that experience; to make himself happy. But you may also be blocking something you aren't thinking about, maybe like playing with someone on the jungle gym and making a friend. You are not only stopping the child's fun, you are also impeding his social growth and possibly making a longtime friend. That doesn't seem fair. I think in this case the upside far outweighs the downside the child should be allowed to play.

Let's put some scale to this: let's consider the economy.

If everyone can get easy access to credit and spend their money easily: In the short term, people will overspend and not be able to, for example, buy school supplies for their children. Or pay their mortgage and get behind for a month. Or in the long term they won't save enough for retirement.

If people have less access to credit and can't spend their money quite so easily: people save more but the economy suffers and doesn't grow as fast because people aren't the consumers they could be. Less tax revenue is generated for social programs. But at the same time, there isn't a catastrophic bubble that leads to economic crash and financial ruin for millions of people. Oh, and people save enough money to buy their kids broccolini and for their retirement. Hm.

Freedom

I'm not gonna beat the flag over this. I simply think people should be allowed to make their own choices, not have the government make them for you (in a lot of things, not all things). When it comes to spending money, people should be able to if they want to. This is a very, VERY broad subject and I know I'm wide open for attack here, but I'll just leave it there.

My Solution

As is always the right answer in these cases, it's freedom with controls. Put controls so the banks can't endanger themselves by extending so much credit they can't cover the bills if consumers don't make their credit card payments every month.* Make sure the playground is a safe environment. Put the helmet on the kid if you want to. But let him go play. Don't cut your nose off despite your face.

Note: This is not an "everything in moderation" approach because I don't think everything in moderation is a good idea. For example, I don't think cancer in moderation is a good idea.

*Also, monitor and update the controls as you go/periodically. People will always try to game the system. Be vigilant in accordance with how much is at stake. So when it comes to the economy and the health of our financial system, it's EVERYTHING. If the money supply stops, so does our food supply. So watch that shit.

Food & Me

There's a lot I could say about food. But I'll stick to two facets of the relationship food and I share:

1.) I'm terrible at remembering the names of food and especially different ingredients of food. I am also terrible at describing food.

2.) I'm terrible at identifying, and thus describing, taste.

Of course, I'm going to have a hard time remembering any examples right now. But I shall try.

Part One - Names and Descriptions of Foods and Ingredients

Some foods and/or ingredients, no matter how often I eat them, I don't remember what they are. Worse yet, I sure as hell can't describe them. It's just disastrous. For example, if you asked me what a compote was, I couldn't tell you, though I'd imagine I've eaten (insert type of compote here) compote before, but I don't know what that means. I now know cuz I wikipedia'd it. Custard? I could identify it but as for ingredients? I think egg white is part of it? Tiramisu is a good one because I've actually MADE tiramisu so I could probably tell you some of the ingredients (if I made it correctly, that is) but I'd have a hard time describing it to you.

I need to just go look at the menu of a fancy restaurant to give you some good examples. I'm the opposite of foodie; I think that is a called "a terrible person".

My biggest fault as a man is not being able to properly identify cuts of beef/cow. I can identify a filet, for example, and probably  New York strip, but the different between a ribeye, porterhouse, and T-Bone (ok, that one should be pretty obvious) I couldn't tell you. It's embarassing.

I also certainly can't do this at a Tex Mex restaurant because so much of the food involves rice, meat, and tortillas. However, in a Tex Mex restaurant, I don't think non-differentiation is all that surprising. Those menus have at least 67 different combinations and it's all almost the exact same. So I feel less bad about this one.

This was especially prevalent when I visited India for nearly 3 months earlier in 2013. I had a hard time remembering the names of anything because, well, the names just sounded very different than what I'm used to hearing. Add in my pre-existing condition I would like to call "food idiocy" and I could hardly remember any names of food I was eating. I actually took a photo of the menu a couple of times. And if you wanted a description of the food, you're better of with Google.

This last paragraph should at least give you a clue as to why I'm writing about this on a travel blog: I'm even worse at identifying what really goes into a food on a menu because, even if I know the translation for something, I may not know what that food is even in English or at least know the taste. It also happens that when people ask me to describe some foods in the US, I can't do it. I'll be like "Well, even if I knew the translation of that, it wouldn't help me."

Part Two - I Can't Describe Taste

Sure, I can tell you if something is sweet, salty, or sour. But bitter? I'm terrible at saying something is bitter. I've even forgotten the Spanish word for bitter at this point. Let me look it up...amargo. Bitter is amargo.

As bad as I am at describing the composition of a food, I'm worse at describing an actual flavor or taste. This in part stems from the fact I have an extremely limited range of adjectives for all things in this world, which, compounded, with my food deficiency, leaves me with about 1 total word for food: sweet...or I guess also "not sweet". It is also because I am shitty at identifying taste. I should just say "well, it's not sweet, salty, or sour, therefore it must be bitter". But I have absolutely no propensity to say "oh wow, this has hints of chickory and cinnamon, and is that cumin I taste?" I will never be that guy. I could taste straight cumin right before tasting something with cumin and wouldn't know that cumin was in the second thing.

Really, that's about it. I can't remember, describe, or identify foods, the names of foods, tastes or flavors. I pretty fail all around in this area of life.

The Great American Variety

I am a patriot, but not because I feel obligated to be because I was born in America. I am a patriot because I feel the same way about my home country I imagine anyone feels about their home country when they actually love their home country. That is to say, I love my home country because it is my home. There is no other way to say. I love America not because it's America but because it is both a good country and the country of my origin, my birth.* I also imagine I would not love America so much if it wasn't a good** country.

Beyond that, I love America because, well, it has given me and afforded me so much. Freedom. Freedom of speech and freedom to pretty much do what I want.

But I am not a patriot for no reason. I've seen a little bit of the rest of the world. I've seen countries much worse off with far worse conditions and political policies, domestic and foreign. I love America not blindly but because I am not blind. Because I have seen. Even just a little. I am grateful to our president, Congress, founding fathers, and all other Americans, no matter how stupid some of them may be. My love is not blind. I know a little bit about what else is out there.

But this post is not about why America is good or why I love America. It's about American variety. In the United States, we have a greater choice of our goods, in the things we buy, than I've seen ANYWHERE ELSE. I can go to the Kroger (a supermarket) 1 mile from my house in Atlanta, Georgia, and in it find a pharmacy, a grocery store, shampoo, paper towels, dog food, beer, etc. However, in this I don't mean the number of different types of things in the store. I mean the number of types of beer, bread, shampoo, medicines, etc. IT'S RIDICULOUS.

And wonderful. And incredible. And huggable. I want to hug it. That this exists. Whoever thought of it. The idea.

Think about it. Next time you go into a grocery store or pharmacy, take note of how many different brands for each type of thing exist. Actually, do it for about 3 things. For example, check how many different types of shampoo, Heinz ketchup (bottle size, for example) and types of potato chips. There are sides of entire aisles dedicated to just potato chips. It is a phenomenon in the US. YOU WILL NOT FIND THIS MUCH CHOICE anywhere else in the world.

And this is not just true in grocery stores but pharmacies and gas stations well. Retail outlets that live off of razor-thin margins. They have gotten very good at selling us nonsense, and it's great for the consumer.

It's also not just true in one town or in one city. It's EVERYWHERE. Everywhere consumers have this vast spread of options laid out in front in them. You can find this in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Atlanta, Georgia, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Boston, Massachusetts, Phoenix, Arizona, EVERYWHERE.

Seriously, stop for a minute, take a look around and think about it. You'll realize it very quickly, too.

We have SO MUCH VARIETY in the US. So much option. So much choice. In other countries you can go to different locations of the same store and find the same things. But the choice is limited. In the US we have EVERYTHING at our fingertips. It's wonderful.

It took my good friend Spencer Burness (tired of hearing about him yet? Me too. But he's smart...ish.) to verbalize what I'd been thinking subconsciously for a long time. When you go to plenty of other developed countries (let's just posit for the sake of argument that developing have choice that is less than or equal to developed countries outside of the US) just isn't as great, the selection isn't as large, as in the US.

In the US we have it all!*** No, seriously it's insane the amount of choice we have, the selection we have.

Now as to why.

Why? Why in the US do we have such choice? Is it cultural? Do Americans, i.e., American culture, just demand greater choice? Do we really do that? Maybe. Maybe it's just Americans expectations and market competition. Store A does it so Store B naturally has to do it to keep up and compete?

I'd actually say that's the answer, but I'd also say we can only do this because it's possible. It is possible. We have the supply chain and the demand to do it. We do it because the people selling us stuff know we'll buy the things we want, so they give those things to us rather than limiting us to things we like less and therefore buy less of it. This is probably fueled by a very fluid money supply and credit. I'll hit on this more in a blog post in the future on: is it better to restrict choice and credit and protect people from themselves so they don't overspend OR give them the option and credit to spend like crazy and let the economy boom? Protect people from themselves, like parents restrict their children only to protect them OR give the children freedom because they just might surprise you and not only take care of themselves but do good things they couldn't if they were otherwise restricted.****

Point being, in the US, we have unparalleled selection and options when it comes to goods we buy at retail compared to basically any other country (that I've visited) on the planet. The only exceptions might be China and Japan as I haven't visited those yet. Maybe I need to look at other places I've visited more closely. Or, you know, find some economic numbers and statistics.*****

*Note to self: I need an origin story, like Spiderman or Underdog.

**Yes, yes, the definition of good is subjective, but fuck off, you know I mean. You can't argue with me about this. It's a good country, end of story. Don't bring up drone strikes or the percentage of our own population we lock up. I get it. Shut your mouth, you cynical bastard, and go back to enjoying this country that has given you so much and not "disappeared" you for literally no reason.

***We don't have it all in the US. But we sure as hell have a lot of choice.

****Brennan, go back and link this post to the other post when you write it in the future.

*****Fuck that. You really think I'm gonna do that? It reeks of work and you know how I feel about work.

18 Wheelers in Buenos Aires

First, let me start with this question: is there a difference in 18 wheelers and transfer trucks? What's the official name for an 18 wheeler? That can't be the official name, right? The official name for a truck can't be based on the number of wheels the truck has, right? We're not that lazy in America, tell me that much. Trevor, help me out here.

To the real point of this post: I was noticing that in the city of Buenos Aires (BA), I had seen basically no 18 wheelers. Like none. Which makes sense and doesn't at the same time. It makes sense because Buenos Aires is a big city but with streets that really aren't quite adequate. In fact, it would make sense for at least the city to make an ordinance saying "No 18 wheelers in the city of Buenos Aires. Traffic is shitty enough as it is and the sidestreets, as well as even the main streets, aren't wide enough for you and can't handle you due to the volume of traffic and width of the streets. Seriously, you'd just make everything worse. Don't do it. I'm serious, young man. Don't...don't make me...put that down."

So, but then what to do with the 18 wheelers? Buenos Aires is a huge city with what I assume is a huge port. Okay, it can't be that huge cuz where the hell is BA gonna send stuff? Why import there? Besides, the Argentine hates the word "import". It's a four letter word for them. But still, you gotta do something with the goods once their imported, either by rail or truck, and we know BA isn't going to do things exclusively by rail. Cuz no city can/would. So where the hell are all the 18 wheelers???

It would further make sense that the city of BA would say, in addition to no 18 wheelers in the city, that all trucks had to use the highways and go around the city and all delivers into the city have to be made by smaller trucks. We aren't quite the same in the US, but we do have shipping lanes/routes and bypass routes for shipping/trucks around cities. Which makes perfectly wonderful, logical sense.

So what's going on?? Where's the beef? Er, the 18 wheelers? They must be somewhere? Those goods have to get to their destinations!

Well I'll tell you.

I was going to write a post I hadn't seen any...until LITERALLY my last day in Buenos Aires. On my last day, November 15, 2013, I was walking from my hostel in San Telmo to the south port Puerto Madero to catch a ferry to Uruguay when I saw, well, several 18 wheelers. There were doing EXACTLY what is described above. The trucks were coming directly from the port and hopping on the elevated highway that goes over and around Buenos Aires. But not through the city streets. God, if you put transfer trucks on 9 de Julio, traffic would never move again in the city.

So, why didn't I see any 18 wheelers in Buenos Aires until the day I left? A) Because I'm oblivious to things and have little natural common sense. and B) I hadn't hung out by the port much and studied shipping patterns or laws.

It makes sense. I'd probably seen 18 wheelers in BA and just not noticed them. And there's probably more to this story than I know. It's super-simplified, right? But it does make you wonder about supply chain in BA and if they've got it figured out.*

*Hint: doubtful

On Why Spencer Burness Is The Greatest Human Being Ever

Brennan: "Holy shit, that place was ridiculous."
Spencer: "(in Matthew McConaughey accent) I know, man, I know."
Brennan: "How'd you find that place?"
Spencer: "Remember when we were cabbing through town earlier? I saw that place and went 'food truck!!' and dropped a pin on my phone."
Brennan: "You're a fucking genius."
Spencer: "Goddamn right."*

First, a disclaimer: No, Spencer Burness is not the greatest human being ever, probably. But bros, don't be offended. You're all awesome. Just, in this particular moment, Spencer displayed a kind of genius normally only found in baby dolphins and feral cats. It was quite impressive.

DISCLAIMER OVER

I had to tell this story. A very specific story, a sea change from my normal vague rants. Spencer visited me in South America, specifically Buenos Aires, at the beginning of November 2013. On Wednesday of that week, we went over to Colonia, Uruguay. There we discovered the Uruguayans have a food called *pause for angelic chorus* chivitos. What is a chivito? A chivito is a food served over fries or in sandwich form. It is beef (some kind of sirloin steak deal) and on top ham, cheese, and a fried egg, and possibly a little lettuce, tomato, and onions mixed it. Throw in some salt, some peppers, tabasco, and some other sauces, mostly mayonaisse based, serve it over fries or on bread, and you have about the greatest food ever known. It's insanely good. It's a billion calories but it'll change your religion (pssst you're looking in the wrong direction). Is a chivito distinctly Uruguayan? I don't know and I don't care. The food is insane. I just met some Americans like an hour ago and they told me you can find them in Chile but they suck there.

Anyways, Spencer looked these up before/on the way to/in Uruguay so we tried them. We ended up eating 3 of them, one of fries and 2 in sandwich form. The first time we had the sandwich form, he called it the greatest late night food he'd ever had. He was more than right.

Spencer's genius of both recognizing the food truck, having the good sense, mental fortitude, and technological awareness to drop a pin at that location, and then remembering it later when we were drunkhungry was impressive. Make him CEO, I say.

Look, that's really all I care to say on this story. There's a lot more I will eventually say about Colonia and Uruguay, but for now I hope you have devoured this story as rampantly as Spencer and I devoured our chivitos. Dee-lish.

*Conversation has been altered liberally to fit how I want it to have gone. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Have No Fear

You ever verbally agreed with someone on something but mentally you disagreed? Why? Obviously this can have serious consequences, say, in a business meeting: "I think we SHOULDN'T make our customers have passwords!" "Oh yeah, great idea, sir!"

No, but really. Let's say someone says "Oh man, that new taco place is THA BOOOOMMMBBB", you know, cuz they're stuck in 1997. And you just go "Oh yeah, man, it's the best. I didn't know what life was until I'd had a taco from that place," even though in reality you're thinking "No, that place was terrible. Pretty sure I ordered a barbacoa taco and got a dog poop taco. It was terrible. I can't believe I'm thinking this, but I can't wait for that place to go out of business and a McDonald's to go up in its place." I'm sure you can think of a million instances.

Why do we do this? I posit two reasons:

1.) Acceptance. We don't want to insult or upset our "friend" by disagreeing with them. It'd make them look bad/feel stupid and we love our friend. Or at least we don't want to lose them as our friend. And besides, negativity is unattractive. However, a seasoned mind, someone with their own, original, fresh ideas and attitudes is attractive.

2.) Laziness. We don't want to argue with our friend because we feel tired or lazy and just let it go. We agree so we can move on or they'll at least shut up.

Why am I talking about all this? Because until recently I was afraid to say bad things about other cultures. I don't want to be downright mean about them, but I want to be honest about how I feel. I'm talking about my post "Argentina: Another Side". I'm not all that kind to Argentina in this post. But I'm trying to be fair, or at least honest, about what I really think of the culture. In my defense, there are lots of things I like about Argentina, but the culture of laziness is not one of them. In fact, I have multiple posts on the things I like in Argentina. This is an exception.

At first, I didn't say bad things about Argentina for three reasons:

1.) I didn´t want to offend the people here. They're nice enough and seem like decent people. This is where I would say they work hard, but...they're mothers and daughters, sisters and sons. Why knock them down a peg?

2.) I'm a stupid white boy, what do I know about culture?

3.) I´m American, what do I know?

But I've been given the courage to get over it. To actually be honest. Thanks to the people who did that, you know who you are and I don't want to mention you by name on the internet since there might be* arrest warrants out for you.

So even though I'm a stupid white boy without much perspective, sometimes even a blind man can see the truth. Don't be afraid to speak your mind, to have an opinion. I will caveat this with two things:

1.) Pick your battles. You don't have to have an opinion about everything.

2.) Don't be a dick about it.

*probably are**

**definitely are

"Fight Club" & "Into The Wild": A Comparison

Let me answer your first question: why am I talking about "Fight Club" and "Into The Wild" on what is an inner thought blog wrapped in the guise of a travel blog? Well, there's your answer. Because I can talk about whatever the hell I feel like and it's so well written, you'll read it. I'm...* has realization*... I'm the Aaron Sorkin of blogs.*

No, but seriously, part of my trip has been an escape, an escape from American culture, from the school-work-family culture, of always moving, of always working, and not stopping to think enough about life until it's too late. It's about not necessarily a counterculture, because I think countercultures are for pussies who can't handle real culture. It's about doing things a different way. I was watching "Into The Wild" (ITW), the movie with Emile Hirsch and Vince Vaughn, among others, while in Buenos Aires. It got me thinking and somehow I ended up comparing to "Fight Club" (FC)***. But first...

*A DISCLAIMER*

I have read FC the book and seen the movie FC. I have not read ITW the book and seen only part of ITW the movie but know the main gist of the story. For the record, FC the book and movie are different as the movie needs a plot that moves forward occasionally to make it watchable. I actually like the movie better, and not just cuz of Brad Pitt's abs.

*DISCLAIMER OVER*

So, as I was watching ITW, I was reminded of my own journey. As I was saying before, doing something different than what the typical American culture expects. The protagonist in ITW rejects worldly things, all of his identification documents, standard means of communication at the time (telephone for example) and sets on a journey of exploration and self-discovery. I clearly have not done this (I'm writing on a blog right now) but I am doing something that is not typical in American culure. The protagonist in ITW rejects not only American culure, but culture itself. Civilization. Worldly things. Identification. He decides to live off the land, hunting with a .22 caliber rifle, living where he can, earning only the money he needs in only the ways he can. It's beautiful. But it's also desperate in that, it's full of despair. It's depressing, sad, lonely, and maddening. I'll leave it to you, dear reader, as I address you here, to learn what the protagonist learns by reading the book or watching the movie.**** The protagonist is not angry; he's desperate. Desperate for escape. Desperate to escape the surly bonds of civilization. He feels bound and seeks freedom. Freedom from culture, of a time before culture, a land before time.*****

In contrast to ITW, FC seeks not to escape culture, this time a culture of greed, debt, and a "generation of men raised by women." Project Mayhem seeks to fight, fight back against, this culture. The culture is destructive, even self-destructive. So they fight fire with fire. They fight each other to become men, and then become men who fight for freedom, albeit, and there's no way around it, in terrorist fashion.

Aside: Project Mayhem was NOT a group of freedom fighters; they were terrorists. Yes, sis, my "corporate is showing" but it is because capitalism is the best system. It works. We should not replace it. However, this is not to condone debt or say that American greed and unbridled capitalism are right; it is to say you can't go around kidnapping people and blowing up buildings and calling it "right". The ends don't justify the means, especially in this case, as the ends are to break the systematic cycle of debt. Debt won't stop, you fools. But hey, and I mean this seriously, nice try. Pretty inventive/genius to blow up a bunch of credit card/bank buildings trying to reset the clock to 0. Not bad. I agree we should improve capitalism because pure capitalism leads to the destruction of the 99%. It cannot stand. But capitalism with inherent controls (the most difficult type of control to create) can, and does, work.

The people in FC seek not to remove themselves from or reject culture; they want a different culture. One where the working class aren't enslaved by debt and taken advantage of. Just as Ed Norton is weak and Brad Pitt fights and become strong (which, ultimately, makes Ed Norton strong, both since they are the same person and Ed Norton's personality becomes his own man), so, too, are opposite the culture that exists in FC (rampant consumerism fueled by debt) and the culure that Project Mayhem seeks to create (one full of self-confidence, in what a man can be by himself removed of possessions and, thus, debt).

ITW seeks to escape culture and civilization. FC seeks to change culure. Neither want anything to do with the culture we have now. Which is right is up to you. But ITW, while filled with despair and loneliness, is also filled with hope.

*Receives cease and desist letter from AS.*

**I retract that last statement.

***Which, now, the acronym FC, which usually stands for futbol club in the real world, makes me think of fight club. So now, FCB = Fight Club Barcelona.

****Watch the movie anyway. It's very good. Directed by Sean Penn. It'll make you lose your breath, maybe even cry.

*****God, would Morgan Freeman PLEASE narrate this.

Argentina: Another Side

This will be the post for which Argentinians hate me and the post for which the Argentine government ever bans me from returning.

If you've read my posts "La Cultura Aqui" or the similar "Jumanji: The Demons Within"*, you know I've talked about how the culture here is "for today". People care about the money in their pocket today and not for tomorrow. You will find 30 year old men who still live with their parents. The people lack motivation. And, as I will discuss in yet another post, it can really suck you in. You can lose yourself here. Like Odysseus did on the isle of Circe. Five years felt like five days.****

Let me just say this in a much harsher way: the people here don't give a shit. I say the people, like, la gente. This is certainly not true of every single person. I've met some very dedicated, hardworking people. But it doesn't seem to be indicative of everyone. I don't take this from talking with/interviewing/examining lots of people, just with a few opinionated people. But I haven't heard much denial of this attitude, either. Let me give you some examples. Allow me to reiterate: this information is not firsthand. It comes from other people I've simply spoken with and I am not recording it here verbatim. It's what I remember.

La Policia (Police)

So, from what I've gotten of the police here, they're pretty lazy. The make I think 600 pesos a day, or week, or month, or something. From what I understand, it's not much more than minimum wage. And now they get a gun. Hooray. Murder cases here aren't solved; people just go missing. I'm sure if the police or mayor of Buenos Aires or Cristina Kirschner cared who I was and read this, there would be a huge denial of this. And maybe it's not true. Just what I heard. I have seen the police take some action here. But I understand typically they aren't going to care much. They may just be looking for a bribe.***** Maybe one day a year, 1 out of every 365 they give a damn and will go to the effort of doing all the paperwork just to screw you over. But typically not. So if someone steals your purse and you yell for the police to help, don't bet on it.

Taxis (Taxis)

My review of taxis here is pretty good. They're hugely abundant, easy to flag, easy to discern if they're open or not. But, sometimes if you find one to take you the airport for $200-250 pesos and he lives out near the airport, he might just pack it in then, call it a day and go home. The fuck?

El Subte (The Subway)

I've heard, but again don't know, the subway workers will just close lines because they don't want to work. They make good money for being subway workers but complain about wanting more. Or if they don't close a line entirely, they'll close it early. Why? They just don't care.

Dog Poop

The guidebooks will all warn you about the "ubiquitous" dog piles on the sidewalks. And it's true. There's lot of dog shit on the sidewalks. Why? People with dogs don't give a damn to clean up after them (though I have seen some people do it, I've seen even more not do it) AND the government doesn't care to have people clean it up, or enforce a "clean up after your dog" law. *Sigh*

This attitude amazes and fascinates me and...sadly...sucks me in. It would be easy to live here and not give a damn. I see why people have this attitude. It's very relaxed. But, no, I can't. I will get back to my world of money and offices and stock markets. I want to do something. I can do nothing in this world or in another  world, but there is no option to do something in this world, in the world of caring about nothing. If I want to do something, something substantial, I must leave. I can do something outside of the world of stocks and bonds. But not in the world of not caring.

*Semi-biographical post on the quirky Robin Williams and how his various versions of facial hair cycle with the phases of the moon**

**Mr. Williams, Patch, sir, I am only kidding. Please don't sue for my libel. Or slander. Or whatever the written version of that is. If only you knew the things I've said aloud!***

***SERIOUSLY I'M KIDDING

****No idea if this is actually accurate. I just remember this from a pretty decent made-for-television movie version of The Odyssey.

*****Given that I heard nothing about bribes before coming here and heard a lot about them in India before going there, I imagine bribes are a much worse situation in India. Ipso facto, I'm not/haven't been that worried about them here.

Fighting Our First Loves

We all have those things. Those restaurants, those shampoos, those brands that are better than every other type of restaurant, shampoo, or brand out there. Ever. Ever made or that ever will be made. That taco place in Lilburn has THE BEST OMG TACOS on the planet and there aren´t any better tacos anywhere on the planet PERIOD. They are delicious. And scrumptous. And every time you get a taco, you mentally, or even verbally, compare the taco from whatever rundown hellhole you are at to that shining beacon, that city on a hill, that place where the angel Gabriel came to Abraham and said, "I give thee: TACOS. And you will know my name is THE LORD when you taste the tacos the Lord has laid upon thee!"

I get it, you get it, we all get it. We will defend these things until we get bored.

We can't help it. I literally don't think we can. That first taco, that first shampoo (Herbal Essences, baby), that first whateverohitdoesn'tmatter, set the impression in your head. It set, in your head, what a taco should be. And, as I said, every taco henceforth shall be compared to the original. Even if the original was, in reality, shitty, you still think it is the best. It took you to a new place. And other tacos, afterward, still won't measure up.

We all know, logically, that it's highly unlikely, highly improbable, that the first of anything we try will be the best. But that's a tough battle to fight psychologically.

Part of the reason they feel the best is because they remind us of home. We most likely tried them when we were young, at our most vulnerable, only seeking security. They may be good, but tie them such a deep feeling as the need and want to be feel safe and secure at home and it becomes very difficult to replace that thing with something new. It only makes sense. Who wants to disrupt their sense of security, of home? Our psyche is only protecting us.

Why is this going on my travel blog? Two reasons: brands here, in Buenos Aires. I'll allow this to be my comparison for now since I haven't gone many other places. Of course in Buenos Aires you'll find plenty of brands from the US: McDonalds, Burger King, Dove Shampoo/Body Wash/Whathaveyou, Axe Body Spray (we coulda left that at home, America). But there are other brands, other brands that either I haven't seen in the US or that don't exist there. In fact, I'm using a shampoo right now made by Unilever that I haven't seen in the US. But we all know my penchant for Bath & Body Works shampoo and conditioner. Good bang for your buck. Not too pricey and just look at my hair. Look at it. No, you haven't seen better hair, shut up. But the shampoo I'm using now. I wasn't used to it. So I took "a chance". I say that because most shampoo I imagine, especially since I was buying it in a big pharmacy chain in BA, is going to clean my hair reasonably well. And, as it turns out, the shampoo (actually shampoo/conditioner, it´s a 2 in 1. You learn to consolidate when you're traveling) does a damn good job.

So now I have to reconsider my whole life. I found a brand I'd never used before, never even heard of, though it was bolstered by the big pharmacy chain brands and of course by Unilever, and it worked!

My fellow humans, my point in all of this is to say, fight your first loves. Question them, and often. Are those really the best? They feel the best. But they are not your masters. Good loves want you to move on, to get better, to grow. So, go, try. And be honest. Is whatever you just tried good or bad in absence of what you consider "the best"? Sometimes, yes, that taco will just be shitty. But sometimes it will surprise you.

The Human Urge/Desire/Need to Dominate

I was talking about Argentine culture the other day with 2 or 3 friends and how, well, stupid some Argentine policies are (you know, the big national/political policies that countries make). This post is not here to discuss Argentine culture or political policies. It is here to discuss my internal reaction to them.

And it was not just to Argentine political policy. It was also to some of Argentine culture and how people do things here. I saw it playing out in 3 steps in my head:

1.) Offer to help the Argentinians and/or Argentine government
2.) The Argentinians react lazily, passively, or otherwise nonchalantly and I become indignant/outraged/frustrated
3.) I take over their shit and make it better on my own

The question now shifts from "How can I make Argentina better AND make a dollar for myself?" but to "Why was this my reaction?" The rest of the conversation was lost to me as I thought about this.

Why? Why did I suddenly feel the urge to take something from someone else, something that wasn't mine, or rightfully mine, and make it better on my own? Better yet, once I've taken this thing from its owners, they aren't going to want it back. I've done it for no one except myself, to make myself feel better (which isn't always the worst answer).

I was quickly reminded of this post I saw featured several times on social media on Columbus Day: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day

I'm paraphrasing here, but basically Columbus says in it "We could conquer the lot of these people with 50 of our own men. It'd be so easy!" more or less glossing over the immorality of genocide and theft, you know, cuz, those were the times. As my father once said (again, paraphrasing), "I see no evidence civilization has become any more civilized over the last thousand years."*

The reason Colubmus felt this way is perhaps a little clearer: he wanted/was obsessed with gold and whatever else and wanted glory for the kingdom, whatever kingdom he came from. He wanted to dominate because it was his job. You think his expidition was of the humanitarian variety? Or was there gold in them thar hills and it's yours for the taking, even if you gotta leave a few bodies behind you on the way?

Back to my desire to dominate...I think it is complicated. I think for one, every needs victory in their lives, wins in their lives. We need to win. For self-esteem, for morale, so we have that inner confidence to keep going, and, as everything ultimately leads to, for sex. It's competition, really? But that's the answer to everything so that's the last time I'll mention it.

The second reason I felt the desire to dominate was because I wanted to fix something. I like fixing things when I know how to fix them and it's a bit of a challenge. Fixing Argentina (not that it's broken, per se, but everything can be improved and Argentina has more low-hanging fruit than your average country) wouldn't be easy, but it'd be fun and challenging.

Third, I want to dominate because, well, it's a darker side of humanity that I have and that we all have. I wanted to win. I was Walter White in the moment. No matter the cost, I want to win. I want to take from the other person and stand on their neck. Morbid and awful, yes, but it is an impulse, hopefully one that stays an impulse.

But at the end of the day, to what end? Once it's fixed, now what? I don't want to fix. I want to do something meaningful. Create. Not fix what already exists. This feeling counterbalances my feelings of conquest, along with other more benevolent feelings, like not wanting to kill people, and so I move on. If a country doesn't want my help, won't use my help, nor does it want to be helped by anyone, it doesn't want much of anything for that matter, let it be. I can make money here, but I don't have to stress out about it.

*Pops, you'll be happy to know that as I write this in the hostel, The Beatles' "Yesterday" is playing.

So Today I Met, No. 2: Some dude who has been traveling for 13, or 16, maybe, years or something. Cray.

I think my blog post titles alone should earn me an Emmy. I mean, just take my top 10.

10.) I puked in the fishbowl, don't say it was you
9.) Inappropriate things I did as a college freshman and #10 wasn't one of them
8.) How did Tucker Max EVER get laid with a name like that? He must have lied to women. About his name.
7.) Top Gun is the greatest bro movie ever made and Keanu is pissed he passed up the role of Slider
6.) Slider *sniffs* you stink
5.) Something something shirtless volleyball mmm shirtless volleyball. Men's volleyball. IT'S A TOP GUN REFERENCE.
4.) Four Top Gun Blog Post Titles So Far, How Am I Looking?
3.) The Lead Mig's Hooking Into Guns Range. There's a mig on our tail, we gotta get outta here! He's coming around, he's coming around, he's gonna get behind us!
2.) I'M NOT. LEAVING. MY WINGMAN.
1.) You can be my wingman anytime. Bullshit. You can be mine.
0.) Beeehhhhhrrrr weeehhhhhrrrr wehr wehr wehhhhrrrr (it's...it's the Top Gun theme song).*

Back to my post...thanks for indulging my random aside. Random asides aside, let's continue. And be brief.

So today I met a guy, I knew his name, but I've forgotten since, who had been traveling 16 years. I swear he told me 16 when I asked him but someone else later told me 13 years. 13, 16, it's a damned long time. I prefer 16 because it sounds better. You know it, I know it, get past it.

It's just kind of...fascinating. 16 years! 16 years not at home, without a home! He sounded British so we're gonna say he was British. He'd seen, like, everything. And even though he'd seen so much, he still hadn't seen it all. Not even close. Think about that, America? Think you're well-traveled cuz you spent 2 weeks in the Amazon or did a mission trip somewhere for a week when you were 12? Think again, fat boy! Try traveling for 16 years and then having the balls to admit "No, I haven't seen it all."

Now, granted, he did stay put in some places for a little bit. I think he said he lived/worked in India for like 4 years. And he had gone back to the UK at least once for a year to work to make more money to support his habit. He also (getting this info 2nd hand here) has an apartment/flat/something/whatever in the UK he collects rent from to support his lifestyle and also has some inheritance from his parents.

Still, it's amazing, and awesome. He was a very cool guy. His pajama pants had holes and were tattered but so what? 16 years of traveling and, if you weren't frugal at the beginning, I bet you are now.

Anyways, that...that's really it. I explained where he was from, what he is doing, how long he'd been doing it, and how he was doing it. He was also very tall and skinny with a well-groomed beard.**

*Spoiler alert: I just told you the whole story of Top Gun, except for GOOOOOSSSSEEEE! The rest is just noise. Glorious noise.

**Yes, I did just write this post as a tribute to Top Gun. You're welcome.

The Fashion Here - La Moda Aqui

I wanted to write a quick note on the fashion here. This is not a review/critique of the fashion here; I haven't taken enough time to properly observe and analyze the fashion here to do that. Just a couple of quick notes.

Typically...

Typically the people dress fairly...normal...here. You know, jeans, jackets, t-shirts, button downs. The occasional pair of Keds or Converse. There's mildly more "trend/fashion" here than in the US, more variety I guess I should say, but less than in Europe. A better way to say it: the fashion here falls somewhere between that of the US and Europe, but closer to the US. Again, not a bad thing, just is.

I haven't anything striking or stunning. No "window shopping" displays of women's dresses or men's that stand out or are remarkable.

Men's suits and mainly their ties

You do see plenty of (presumably) businessmen in suits. They seem fine, ranging from the lower to middle, maybe upper middle of the range of quality of material and cut. I have't anything truly outstanding, in suit or combination of suit and tie. The Argentinians aren't always dressing to impress on a Tuesday, which makes sense.

I do have to say, the ties, las combats, LAS CORBATAS, seem, more often than they should, to be too short. One of the most basic rules of fashion: unless you are trying to be different, the tie should come right to the top of the belt, just touch it, graze it, kiss it. Shorter and you look like you're too tall/fat for the tie. Any longer and you look like you've hiked up your pants and you're 80 years old. You might need a top hat, cane, and suspenders, but the Mr. Magoo version of all these things, not the sweet Dumb n Dumber version(s).

And that's all she wrote.

-B

So Today I Met, No. 1: A dude biking from Buenos Aires to Patagonia (Updated)

So, today I met (just imagine "Wheel! Of! Fortune!*" but "So today on Today! I! Met!") this brilliant Belgian guy named Xander (the closest I'm sure I'll get to spelling his name). Xander was really cool for a lot of reasons but the primary reason I'm writing about him is he is biking from Buenos Aires to Patagonia. And by biking, I don't mean a "motorbike", a motorcycle, a scooter, or a Vespa. I mean a bicycle. As in, self-powered. As in using his own 2 legs. And in this case, a recumbent bicycle (see below for photo).

Buenos Aires to I don't remember if I forgot or just didn't ask (how rude of me!) what his final destination was (no movie pun intended...this time). But I believe he said his total distance would be 3000 km. Or about 40 km for those of you on the metric system. Seriously. 3000 km. There and back. 6000 km on his legs. Yeesh. Good luck to you, Xander.

Xander told us (various folks at the hostel were discussing his trip, desire to do the trip, etc, with him at various times) that he wanted to do the trip, because, well why not. He told his mom "Hey mom! I'm gonna go bike through Argentina!" and his mom replied "Ok, but don't be late for supper! You don't want to eat cold bean stew, do you??" She didn't get it. I never know what she's doing in there. And off he went. He actually brought his bike from Belgium.

I was really quite impressed with how well Xander had planned his trip. Definitely had thought of things I hadn't, but then again I've never planned a trip like this so cut me some freakin slack. If you know anything about Argentina, and I don't blame you if you don't, when travelling south and across the country, the towns are quite spread out. He estimated that he would travel 100 km per day, a fair estimate I'm sure. He, too, estimated that, at a stretch, he wouldn't see a town for up to 3 days. Of course he was bringing food with him, and would restock along the way, but that means at times he would need enough food for 3 days (!!) with him. And would have to spend the night outside. So what else did he have? A tent, naturally. Oh, and for (from Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels**) "dispensing with the pleasantries of nature", he has to bring toilet paper. He had cleverly placed in a plastic bag so it wouldn't get soaked in case it rained. Nothing worse than already-wet TP, if you ask me.

But Xander also had to plan for bike failure. What happens if gets a flat tire? Busted rim? Broken chain? Can't just call up AAA. Do they have AAA for bikes? Anyway, so he was taking extra whole wheels with him, stuff to fix the chain, etc.

Now stop and think about this for a minute. Surely he had a bag, I'm not sure of the size, within it some extra clothes/blankets/whatnot since it gets cold in the south of Argentina (hey, it is the bottom of the world), his tent, extra tires, stuff to fix his bike, and enough food for up to 3 days ALL ON HIS RECUMBENT BICYCLE. Betcha getting up them hills sucks.

This is why I'm writing about Xander, because he is 1) biking 2) 6000 km across a country 3) he doesn't know 4) by himself 5) on a recumbent bicycle 6) loaded with everything he'll need to make the trip. It's a truly impressive feat, to be sure. It's not quite as good as biking from Canada to Patagonia***, but still, what have you done lately? I think it's interesting, writing these stories about these people. Kind of the point of the series in the blog, dont'cha think?

Oh, and I have to tell one more story about Xander because it was great. It's the definition of a "you had to be there moment" but I'm telling it anyway. So stop reading now if you don't want to be bored. Too late? Yeah, I thought so. Just hang in with me for a couple more paragraphs.

So we, of course, as Xander is Belgian, got on the topic of beer. I naturally spilled my guts about how much I love Belgian beer. Xander told us the tradition of Belgian beer, why it is so popular in Belgium, and why it has been made for long in Belgium. (Naturally, with all that practice, it's no wonder that it's so good.) So apparently, in lots of Belgian towns, back in the day, the wells (the water supplies/sources) were, unfortunately, and somehow often, placed near cemeteries. The rotting corpses infected the groundwater. So people in Belgium began making "table beer" from it. Like really weak, 3% I think Xander said. You could give it to a kid. And you had to do this because in the process of making the beer, you boiled the water and killed the bacteria. I guess you could have just boiled the water straight up, let it cool, and drank it, but where's the drunk in that?

So, after telling this story, one time a few of were standing around, shooting the shit, and we got on the subject of coffee in Argentina, and how bad it is. Then we talked about the coffee at the hostel, and how bad IT was, just the sludge that it is. So Xander goes, in his Belgian accent, "We should make beer out of it." And the crowd goes wild. Told you, you had to be there.

Anyway, I'll probably come back around and clean this up a bit later, cuz this post has literally no point. Less of a point than any other post I've written. Who wants to read about people I've met?

Love you all,
B

*Not sure if I hated, but I never really liked, The Price is Right and I like(d) Wheel of Fortune even less. More random thoughts of tv show at a later date.

**I do remember something from senior year lit, Ms. Halli! Look! And balancing on eyebeams and a piet! Or was that freshman year. Damn I can't remember. Whatever. What's on tv?

***There is a story/legend about two people biking, sort of together, from Canada to Patagonia. I haven't met them so I probably won't write about them. But damn.

Update 1 (2013-10-26):

God I'm a horrific writer

So Today I Met: An Intoduction

Hi everyone,

So, I'm writing and you're reading a blog. There is such thing as microblogging, i.e., Twitter, but I imagine Facebook posts, individually, count as well.

But, what do you call a series, or even mini-series, as it were, depending on how bored I get, within a blog? That's not rhetorical. Seriously, what do you call it? A mini-blog-eries? Frosted mini-blogs? I don't care nor do I care to commit the time to do thinking about it right now. Come back to me, I had something for this.

But, allow me to introduce, without further pomp and circumstance, or other strippers, "So Today I Met", a mini-series within my blog cataloging and discussing various perps and pimps I've met in my travels. I am writing about them because I find/found them interesting and neat enough for me to write something about (it doesn't take much). For the most part I've forgotten their names, faces, ages, details, and countries of origin. What I have remembered is not much. Enjoy!

As always, and yours truly,
B

Brennan Gets Economical: The Big City Conundrum

So, as I was walking through Buenos Aires yesterday, I thought about an interesting fact/problem that tourists may have in big cities. I believe that typically, the best stuff in a city is not on the main streets/avenues/boulevards. They are on the smaller side streets. And by best, I mean "best bang for your buck" stuff, as for food and for goods. Let me pause here a moment to define best "bang for your buck":

Let's say there's a restaurant on a main drag in New York. A meal is rated a 10, the best score a meal can receive. The price is $50. So with some math, you paid $5 for every point. Now, let's say on a side street, you get some choripan and fries. It rates at an 8, but only costs $25. Again, with some math, you've effectively paid $3.13 per star. Better "bang for your buck". Not as good a meal, but much less of a ticket price, too.

Now, I call this a "problem" for tourists. Really, it's not. It's just, life. People can spend their money however they choose. Maybe they really enjoyed their meal and were happy to pay that much more for it. And of course the restaurant and especially the city are happy for the extra revenue. But it seems like you'll only experience touristy things this way. And to me that seems bad for the tourist and the city's reputation.

How does this happen? Well, the bigger streets have more foot traffic and therefore command a higher rent. So only the more expensive places can afford to exist on the bigger streets. In cities, tourists, in order to see more and because bigger streets can take you more places, tend to stick to bigger streets. So they end up missing out on some of the better smaller stuff.

Unless you're a savvy tourist like me.

Ok, look, this idea sounded good when I first sat down to write this. I've now realized that I haven't said anything. I won't apologize for wasting your time because I doubt you came to this unimportant blog inadvertently, or stayed inadvertently. What I mean is, you knew what this was.

Love,
B

La gente aqui no pueden usar veredas correctamente

In case you're wondering, the title of this post translates to "People here can't use sidewalks correctly."*

And, well, you'll be happy to know that's the gist of this post. It's very short but I figured I'd make a post of it instead of a Facebook post or tweet. What's the definition of microblogging, anyway? Requirements, please.

Seriously, the majority of people here DO suck at walking on sidewalks. Most sidewalks are the normal width, comfortably fitting 2 people walking past each other, or 3 side-by-side (lado a lado) at most. Even Avenida de Mayo, which has sidewalks 3 times as wide, is littered with kiosks and chairs using the sidewalk as a patio, completely defeating the purpose of a wider sidewalk. When I'm walking, or God help me if I'm running, people either don't recognize that exist, and therfore don't move, or do recognize I exist and don't give a shit, and therefore don't move. Some people are actually quite nice and yield the sidewalk when I'm running, but that's less often than not. I usually try to get out of the way because I'm the one running. Lookit, kids, I don't care about you and you don't care about. Let's just get past each other and move on.

And it's not just when we're going the opposite direction. People, when alone, will walk in the middle of the sidewalk, really slowly, not realizing it makes it hard for people to pass them. They just don't realize other people exist in the universe. Pick a side, people! Yeesh, you greedy fucks. Or they'll step out of shop right into a busy sidewalk, not realizing they're about to cause a traffic jam. Jesus people, GTFO of the way. Seriously. I'm not walking 7 km for my health. It's because I don't want to pay for a taxi and forgot that the Subte here is actually very good. It's very frustrating, my stupidity and their lack of awareness.

In case you're wondering, or assuming at this point, that I'm taking this too personally, I am. But it doesn't mean I'm wrong. I've seen it with other people. The lady holding her child struggling to get past the old man lazily taking his afternoon constitutional, dreaming of birds and Edgar Allen Poe. The businessman in his business suit trying to pass the child stopping to look at everything all the while he's late for the 4:30 conference call with Wall Street. People just don't realize the impact they're having on other people. Butterfly effect, kids.

Also, I'm sure you've figured it out by now, this post has turned quite satirical/farcical/sarcastical. You kind of had to realize it with the title of the post. Without further complicating it, enjoy!

-B

*Vereda is the Argentine word sidewalk. In the US (ok, wordreference.com doesn't make sense. I get there are people in the US that speak Spanish, but is there such thing as US Spanish??), it's "acera" and in Mexico it's "banqueta". Whew.**

**Obviously I didn't know any of these words and am practicing my Spanish. The end.