The Chili Bomba (Updated)

Another short post, I suppose. Look at me, breaking the generational habit of being a windbag long-winded.

So, in Argentina, and probably elsewhere in South America, but I am not sure, there's a drink called "The Chili Bomba" (feel free to correct my spelling if you know better). What do you think when you hear this name? Pornstar name? Carlos Danger? I'll tell you what I think: a hot drink. Chili Bomba. A chili bomb in drink form. Yay? And, well, the truth is not far from it.

The Chili Bomba, outside of just being a fun name to say, is just vodka and energy drink. Literally, that's it. You fill a big glass half-full with energy drink and drop a shot of vodka in the middle and drink it like a normal cocktail thenceforth (henceforth, heretowith, fortnight). But you say "But, Brennan, in the second paragraph, you implied the drink would be hot! You tricked me! Dick!"* Well, it is hot! Picante hot, not caliente hot. Or, as idiots would say, "Eeeezzz spicy!"

It's true. I don't get it. I haven't tried the energy drink independently of a CB, of which I've tried two. The energy drink is called "Speed" with "Unlimited" written underneath it. Might as well read "Too Fast, Too Furious". Way to go, marketing guys. And I don't want to try it. If it mixes with vodka and results in a spicy, awful drink, no. Makes me think it's made of smushed-up radioactive ants. A spicy energy drink! Honestly, it's not mine! I will try it I suppose one day...but seriously, you made a drink by switching the type of energy drink?? Otherwise it's a vodka Red Bull!

And that's all she wrote.

*Come on, be honest. Every time you think of me, you first think "That guy is a dick."

P.S. The Chili Bomba makes me think of "The Chili Bomber", like, someone who makes bombs of chili. Maybe drops them on unsuspecting children waiting at the bus stop from the limbs above of a nearby tree. Or "The Chile Bomber" which is exponentially worse than dropping a meat soup on grade schoolers like a bored Batman. The hero we need right now, indeed. And also "Chili Palmer" cuz I fucking love John Travolta.

Update 1 (2013-10-01)

Well, I'm an idiot. Why do I say things you already know? Because I'm an idiot. And I make mistakes. But I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong. Also, this is a blog no one will care about until I'm running for the South Dakota State Treasurer/Wig Consultant to the Governor in 14 years (Wheeler 2027!) so I'll be okay until then.

Let me go ahead and give you the reason for the above paragraph now: The Chili Bomba (capitalized here to show respect) is not hot due to the energy drink. It's because of the vodka. This is ordinary vodka...when it comes through the doors of the bar. But then the bartenders put a chile in the vodka! And it makes it super hot! Cray! I think it was last Friday, 2013-09-28, that my German friend Sebastian (shout out!) pointed out this fact to me. I saw the chile in the vodka when they were pouring us our 3rd CB.

So, the vodka ordinarily is not hot but with the chile, very spicy. I tried the energy drink independently and it tastes like the urine of someone who drinks nothing but Mountain Dew, so it's pretty good. Seriously, it's not bad. I'm sure it, too, would grow on me, as the CB has.

And that is something interesting about the CB. It does grow on you. At first I was all "A spicy vodka energy drink shot! Get out of my mouth!" But then, with the persuasion of Sebastian, I tried another. Then I wanted another. And another. There must be crack in it. Or it's made by Chick Fil A. It's pretty good in the end.

Anyways, love to you all. Out like a trout.